Let's Play Tokimeki Memorial - crosspost from SA forums

[Texaporte]

Chapter 9: Spring 1996 Part 2, The Baby-faced Assassin

Megumi's ever-growing affection for Goon is presenting something of an issue. The Yang Guo mask strategy isn't working, because every time she sees us doing well in school or playing well in the band, she understands that she is witnessing Utter Perfection in spite of Goon's habit of keeping to himself. We need to make sure that she doesn't overtake Shiori out of pure admiration for Goon's awesomeness.

Sounds easy! It's not like we know anyone who could possibly add any degree of difficulty to this juggling act!

3/31 (Sunday): Call Yuina


Yuina: Yes, this is Himoo.
Goon: Um... this is Fudou Gunpei.
Yuina: Gunpei-kun. You've been acting overly familiar with me lately. Can I help you?
Goon: Want to go to Central Park on 4/28?
Yuina: Your luck has run out....
Yuina: ...for I appear to be free on that day.

I explained why we did this above. The strategy should pay off in May.

Goon: Okay, let's meet in front of the park on the 28th.
Yuina: You dare to give me orders?
Goon: Alright then, where would you like to meet?
Yuina: ...Your previous suggestion is acceptable.
Yuina: Our business is completed, and I am hanging up.
Goon: Woohoo! I can't wait for the 28th.

Thankfully, this conversation has stayed the same. We probably can't say the same for Megumi, who already freaked out with happiness the last time we called her.

4/1-4/6: Sleep
4/4: Start of the new school year and event!


Goon: Starting today, I'm an upperclassman. I've got to focus and give it my all!
????: Hello, Fudou-san!

Duh nuh... duh nuh... duh nuh... duh-nuh duh-nuh...


Goon: Hmm? Have we met?
????: That's the million dollar question! Who do you think I am?
Goon: (Hmmmm... her voice sounds kind of familiar...)
????: Bzzzzzt! Time's up. My name is...


Yoshio: Yumi, what're you doing?
Yumi: Hey, Onii-chan!
Yoshio: Oh, hey Gunpei. What're you guys up to?
Goon: She called you Onii-chan, so that makes her your little sister?
Yoshio: Yup. Wait, you mean I never told you about her?
Goon: You never said a word.
Goon: (I knew she sounded familiar.)

You have to admire the kind of guy who keeps a borderline-creepy notebook about every notable girl in school, yet neglects to tell anyone he has a sister.

Yoshio: She's an incoming freshman here at our school.
Yumi: My name is Saotome Yumi! Pleased to meet you, senpai!
Yoshio: It's time to head home, Yumi.
Yumi: Aww, do we have to? Well, I guess this is it for today, senpai! Bye-bye!
Goon: (That's what his little sister is like? She seems kind of annoying.)

You have no idea, Goon. You have no idea.

4/7 (Sunday): Preen
4/8-4/13: Preen
4/14: Date with Megumi

Goon: (Today's my date with Mikihara-san. I should go meet her in front of Kirameki Central Park.)


Goon: Were you waiting long?
Megumi: N...no.
Goon: Phew, I'm glad I wasn't late.
Megumi: The cherry blossoms are in bloom here!
Goon: Perfect! Let's go see the flowers.
Megumi: Y...yeah!

花見/Hanami/"flower viewing" is a beloved springtime tradition, where people go out for picnics and parties to celebrate and admire the beauty of Japan's famous cherry blossoms. It's vaguely similar to going to see the leaves changing color in autumn, but it's so important to the Japanese that the weather service keeps track of where cherry trees are in bloom with the scrutiny of a storm front. Cherry trees are only in bloom for a couple of weeks a year in each area, so it's pretty crazy to try and join in the revelry - prime picnic spots are often staked out a day or two in advance, and as the day goes on, drunken revelry gets more and more wild.

This cultural note was inserted because "Let's go flower viewing" sound stupid, even though that's an accurate-ish translation.


Megumi: Do... do you think we can stay here a little longer?

Option 1: I'm tired.
Option 2: We can stay here as long as you want.
Option 3: Okay, but only for a little bit.

We must keep Megumi at arm's length, but not hurt her feelings - because we have refused to walk home with her just about once every two weeks, we're slowly but surely building to a bomb. So, 3 seems like the best idea.


Megumi: O... okay.
Goon: (Eh.)


Goon: Did you have fun?
Megumi: Y...yes, today was fun.
Goon: Can I invite you out again some time?
Megumi: Y...yes!
Goon: Okay, I'll call you soon.


Megumi: Fudou-san... could we... um...
Goon: Want me to walk you home?
Megumi: Y...yes!

REE REE REE REE REE REE

4/15-4/20: Concert band
4/21 (Sunday): Sleep
4/22: Preen
4/28 (Sunday): Date with Yuina

Goon: (Today's my date with Himoo-san. I should go meet up with her in front of Kirameki Central Park.)


Goon: Have you been waiting long?
Yuina: Not really. You're right on time.
Goon: I'm glad I wasn't late.
Yuina: The cherry blossoms are in bloom.
Goon: Let's go see the flowers.
Yuina: I guess it isn't bad to enjoy this kind of thing every once in a while.

See cultural note above.


Yuina: Well, well. Isn't this pretty.

Option 1: It's just litter at the end of the day.
Option 2: Just what you'd expect of Japan's national flower.
Option 3: That's not like you to say that, Himoo-san.

Cultural note: Japan technically doesn't have a national flower. Except that it does, and it's the cherry blossom. Anyway, the most neutral answer is 2, so that's what we pick.

Yuina: Japan's...? Soon, it will all be mine.
Goon: (Eh.)


Yuina: This delayed my research, but oh well.
Goon: O...kay. Thanks, I think.
Yuina: I'm going home now, Gunpei-kun.

This was pretty much the ideal outcome overall. One more date at the park and it's mini-game time!

4/29 (Golden Week): Call Yumi

For obvious reasons, you don't have to call Yoshio to get Yumi's number. They do have separate entries in the address book, though.


Yumi: Yes, this is the Saotome residence.
Goon: Hi, this is Fudou Gunpei.
Yumi: Fudou-san? Do you need something from Yumi?

Translator's note: Yumi refers to herself in the third person, a habit common amongst Japanese children. They usually grow out of the habit long before high school. In fact, they usually grow out of it before they hit 2nd grade.

Goon: Want to go to Kirameki Central Park on 5/5?
Yumi: Yeah, sure!
Goon: Alright, let's meet in front of the park on the 5th.
Yumi: Got it. Cross your heart, hope to die, stick a needle in your eye!
Goon: Hahaha... cross my heart. Say hi to Yoshio for me!
(click)

Yumi quotes the Japanese rhyme for pinky swearing here, which is really close to the English one - but instead of sticking a needle in your eye, the Japanese drink a thousand needles.

Goon: Woohoo! I can't wait for the 5th.

Neither can I, Goon. But for far different reasons!

4/30-5/2: Sleep
4/30: New event!

Duh nuh... duh nuh... duh nuh... duh-nuh duh-nuh...


Goon: (Man, I'm exhausted. I should hurry home.)
Yumi: Hey, Fudou-san!
Goon: Yumi-chan? What's up?
Yumi: Want to go home with Yumi?

Option 1: Sure! Let's go home together.
Option 2: It'd be kinda embarrassing, so I'll pass.

Gotta keep choosing 2 unless it's Shiori...

Yumi: It's embarrassing to be with Yumi? Then Yumi will walk home alone.
Goon: (She was nice enough to wait around for me, and I just acted so rude...)

5/3 (Golden Week): Sleep
5/4 (Sunday): Preen
5/5 (Golden Week): Date with Yumi!


Goon: Were you waiting long?
Yumi: Uh-uh, Yumi just got here too.
Goon: Glad I wasn't late.

She... she wears a backpack and overalls out on dates. How did a 6-year-old make it into high school?


(thud)
Punk: Yo, you've got some nerve walking into me like that without saying a damn thing. Hope you're ready to get your ass kicked!

5/5 (Golden Week): [s]Date with Yumi[/s] RPG mini-game fighting street punks!

Yes, this game has an RPG combat system. Let's play Whose Game Are They Parodying?


Game: The punks attacked!

It's worth noting that the original PC-Engine release of Tokimeki Memorial was 3 months after Final Fantasy VI. Do you feel old? I feel old.

The combat system in Tokimeki Memorial is really really simple. It's a real-time turn system, just like the Final Fantasies of that era. Goon only has two commands, Attack and Defend. Goon can also learn Limit Break-type moves based on what club he's in, but it requires three years of going to summer camp. The girl, in this case Yumi, acts automatically whenever it's her turn, and she only has one move. Goon's hit points are 10x his current Stamina stat, while his attack is equal to his Sports stat and defense is equal to his Guts stat.


This is Yumi's only attack. She cries fake tears, and it delays the punks' attack because they say

Punks: Aww crap! What kind of man makes a little girl cry?


This is Goon's attack, which does a pretty hefty 800-900 damage since we're decently high in the Sports stat.


And if Goon loses, the punks say:

Punks: You were all talk. Get lost!

Oh, I should mention: since we got into a fight on a date, the game counts it as if nothing happened that day. It's really bad if you're trying to clear up a bomb. And since we shouldn't waste a single day on a quest for Utter Perfection...

RELOAD COUNT: 25

That was a nice diversion, but it's time to get back on track. It doesn't mean anything if you win or lose, it just... it just...

It just stings, dammit! I want a rematch! We needed more time to train, that's all. We can win this one!

4/29 (Golden Week): Call Yumi


Goon: Want to go to Kirameki Central Park on 5/12?
Yumi: Sorry, Yumi made a promise to go out with a friend that day...
Goon: Oh, did you?
Yumi: Yeah... it's a real shame.
Goon: Well, next time, then. Say hi to Yoshio for me.
(click)



Well, since this is a wasted week anyway, might as well call Yoshio and ask him about Yumi.

5/3 (Golden Week): Call Yoshio

Yoshio: Yes, this is the Saotome residence.
Goon: Hey, it's Fudou.
Goon: What's with tone of voice? Are you sad that I called you?
Yoshio: Don't ask stupid questions.
Yoshio: So what'd you call for?
Goon: I'd like to know what the girls think of me.
Yoshio: What they think of you, eh? Gimme a second.
Yoshio: What the girls think of you is...

Duh-dun... duh-dun...


Yep. Yumi starts out liking Goon from day 1. On the one hand, it helps out players since she doesn't exist for an entire year. On the other hand, it makes it really really easy for her to become a bomber.

Goon: I'd like to know more about Yumi, if you can tell me anything.
Yoshio: You do? Do you have a thing for her?
Goon: N...no way! Not at all.
Yoshio: You don't have to hide it from me, man. You and Yumi, eh...?
Yoshio: Alright! Here's a special treat, just for you.


[fixed]Saotome Yumi
Birthday: May 16th
Sign: Taurus
Blood type: O
Measurements: 79-59-82 (31-23-32)
Club: Basketball
Notes: Likes anime and pro wrestling.[/fixed]

Goon: Thanks.
Yoshio: So, how about I run this by Yumi for you?
Goon: I told you, that's not what's going on!
Yoshio: Sure, whatever. Good luck!
(click)

I... I don't know if I should be impressed at how much of a bro Yoshio is, or creeped out by the fact that he knows his sister's measurements. Anyway, back to the rematch!

RELOAD COUNT: 26

4/29 (Golden Week): Call Yumi

Goon: Want to go to Kirameki Central Park on 5/19?
Yumi: Yeah, sure!
Goon: Alright, let's meet in front of the park on the 19th.
Yumi: Got it. Cross your heart, hope to die, thousand needles in your eye!
Goon: Hahaha... cross my heart. Say hi to Yoshio for me!
(click)

4/30-5/2: Sleep
5/3 (Golden Week): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FgwFkEUcIK8
5/4 (Golden Week): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mVdbuNpsryI
5/5 (Sunday): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s28vNyjOlbc
5/6 (Golden Week): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q-8hOKNbtxg
5/7-5/11: Sleep
5/12 (Sunday): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jf7CPMh3ZK8
5/13-5/18: Sleep

5/19: Date with destiny

This is it. This is the day we have been training for. THIS IS OUR TIME. This time, the video is actually gameplay-related and not just a clip from the Rocky movies:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gx_TjxzSArQ

VICTORY! If I can change, and you can change, everybody can change!

Punks: Uch... you're not bad. Guess we have to tell the boss!
Game: Victory!
Game: Gained 2360 EXP
Game: Earned 3600 Gold

No, the XP and Gold don't do anything. Winning fights doesn't mean anything until 2, honestly. But you know what? It was worth it.

RELOAD COUNT: 27

4/29 (Golden Week): Preen
4/30-5/2: Sleep
5/3 (Golden Week): Read Memorial Spot, then sleep


Memorial Spot June/July/August
The botanical gardens are open!
Movie: Kanpanman (anime) (Anpanman is one of the harder-to-explain Japanese cartoon superheroes. Anpan is a Japanese sweet pastry, usually filled with sweet red bean paste. Anpanman's head is freshly baked for him by his uncle, but whenever he sees someone starving, he can't help but tear off part of his delicious head and offer it to them to eat. Then, his uncle has to bake him a new head.
Concert: XeXeX (rock) (X Japan, a legendary metal and Visual-kei/glam band)
Stadium: June - Pro Wrestling
July - Baseball
August - Baseball
Events: In August, the amusement park will be holding night parades!
August 4th is Ennichi at the shrine!
Construction on the water slide is finished at the public pool!

Goon: (Botanical garden, eh? Oh yeah, didn't Shiori have a habit of counting sheep at night? I don't remember where I heard that...)

5/4 (Golden Week): Preen
5/5 (Sunday): Study lit
5/6 (Golden Week): Call Shiori

I chose this day to call Shiori because it's a holiday on a Monday - meaning that if I need to reload, it doesn't change anything in the run.

Goon: Want to go to the amusement park on 6/2?
Shiori: Let me check... yes, that's fine.
Goon: Alright, let's meet in front of the park on that day.
Shiori: Yes, let's. Don't forget, okay?
Goon: No way will I forget. Okay, talk to you later.
(click)
Goon: Yes! I can't wait for the 2nd.

5/7-5/11: Concert band
5/12 (Sunday): Preen
5/13-5/18: Concert Band
5/18: Reject Megumi after school... again
5/19 (Sunday): Sleep
5/20-5/25: Concert Band
5/26 (Sunday): Exercise

At this point, I'd like to point out how boxed-in we are right now. It's the second month of the second year, and these are Goon's stats:

[fixed]Stamina 68 | Lit 125 | Science 123
Art 155 | Sports 133 | General Knowledge 89
Looks 92 | Guts 59 | Stress 5[/fixed]

If we try to study literature on a school day, we'll meet Mio again.
If we try to practice art on a school day, we'll meet Ayako again.
If we exercise on a school day, we'll meet Yukari because of our Looks stat.
If we hang out with Yoshio on a school day, we'll meet Yuuko.
If we preen on a school day, we'll meet Mira.

The only "safe" actions right now on school days are :science:, sleep, and Concert Band. The rest of the activities must be spent on our rapidly dwindling Sundays and holidays, which are starting to be fill up with Megumi, Yumi, Yuina, and Shiori.

We'll meet all the girls eventually, but year 2 needs to be played conservatively. I'll introduce the rest of the cast in Year 3: The Unmasking, I swear! In the meantime, a minor poll before some big decisions are made:

The second sports festival is in a week! What mini-game would you like to see next?

A) The Egg-and-Spoon Race
B) The Scavenger Hunt Race
C) The Three-Legged Race
D) The Ball-Rolling Race

The poll closes at midnight Pacific time, December 13th. The next post should be Saturday, December 14th.

[Texaporte]

Chapter 10: Summer 1996, The Path of Perfection Begins

I mentioned last post that things are starting to get tight. There's something I haven't mentioned yet but should be pointed out: at this point, Goon is turning down offers from 2-3 girls a week after school, and each time it happens, that girl inches closer and closer to bomb status. The tightrope is getting more and more dangerous, and to illustrate it, I'll start showing you how often these events are happening.

5/27-5/31: Exercise
6/1: Sports Festival, year 2. Mini-games!


How to Play the Ball-Rolling Race
First, pick your partner in the ball-rolling race. During the mini-game, use the D-pad to move left and right, while pressing the Circle button to push the ball. Be sure not to push too far left or right!

The ball-rolling race is exactly what you think it is: you have a giant ball, and you roll it down the track to the finish line. Unlike most other mini-games, your choice of partner actually does affect your ability to do this race. Nozomi is by far the best partner to choose in this race since she's by far the best athlete, and then after that the rankings are Shiori/Yumi > Saki/Yuuko > Mira > Yukari > Ayako > Mio/Megumi > Yuina. Since this is a Shiori run, Shiori is the best partner to choose.


This game predates Katamari Damacy by 10 years. Anyway, you have to have a pretty hefty Sports stat to do well in this event, and we don't have that since we're going for an all-around stats run and not a world-class athlete run (e.g. Saki or Nozomi). So, 4th place is pretty much a foregone conclusion. Anyway, this mini-game is pretty simple. If you're on the right side of the ball, the ball will push to the left, and the left side of the ball pushes it to the right. Depending on how good your partner is at the game, she also moves around and helps keep the ball from going out of bounds. For reference, Shiori pretty much never lets the ball go out of bounds, while Yuina pretty much never moves and makes you do all the work.


Sorry, Shiori, the path of Utter Perfection does not allow for victory at such petty things as ball-rolling. We are going for the greatest prize of all!


Goon: Okay, time for the folk dance. Let's do this right!

It's very common to have folk dances or bonfires after sports festivals and culture festivals. These days, bonfires are becoming less and less common for logistical, environmental, and health-related reasons, but the folk dance persists. When Japanese high schools have a folk dance, they're usually talking about a kind of circle dance where one ring is made of boys and another ring is made of girls. That way no one is left without a partner, and pairs only dance with each other for a short time before moving on.

That's the theory, at least. High school kids being high school kids, there's still plenty of opportunity to skip over unpopular people and dance with people you like. Gameplay-wise, the Folk Dance works a lot like the Christmas event - it's a combination of global affection-raiser and a Yoshio-less checkup on how much girls like us. Observe:

Goon: Okay, my next dance partner is Himoo-san.


Yuina: You really like this kind of thing?
(dancing)
Goon: Alright, next is Mikihara-san.

REE REE REE REE REE REE


Megumi: Um... um... um...!
(dancing)
Goon: Alright, next is Shiori.


Shiori: Lead on.

Goon: The folk dance wasn't that bad.

6/2 (Sunday): Date with Shiori

Goon: (Today's my date with Shiori.)
Goon: (Let's go wait for her in front of the amusement park.)


Goon: Looks like Shiori isn't here yet.
Goon: I should wait a little longer.

This line is often a fake-out - if we choose the wrong place in the quiz when there are too many dates scheduled closely together, this line either means that we've chosen the wrong location and will make the girl angry, or we're fine but the game's just messing with us.


Shiori: Sorry! I took too long getting ready.
Goon: Don't worry about it, I just got here myself.
Shiori: Okay! Let's head inside.
Goon: Yeah.


Goon: (Oh hey, they're doing a hero show over there.)

Option 1: Invite Shiori to watch it
Option 2: Ignore it

Have you ever been to Disneyland and done the Jedi Training at Tomorrowland? Hero shows in Japan are pretty much the same thing. They're usually based on the current season's Super Sentai, and the general flow of it is that the costumed heroes come on stage and show off for the kids for a bit. Then, the villains come on stage and menace the audience/kidnap the announcer/etc., and some lucky kid is invited on stage to help defeat the monsters, save the day, and get some kind of special souvenir for being part of the show.

Yumi likes the hero show because she's essentially a 7-year-old, and Yuina has a special event at the amusement park's hero show too. Shiori doesn't like it, though, so we're choosing 2/


Shiori: So where do you want to go?

Option 1: Let's go ride the ferris wheel.
Option 2: Let's go ride the roller coaster.
Option 3: Let's go to the haunted house.

All of these options are pretty much fine by Shiori. Let's go with 2 for this one.

Shiori: I love this ride. Let's get in line!



Shiori: Wasn't that fun?

Option 1: That adrenaline rush is the best!
Option 2: It's just for kids.
Option 3: I was pretty scared that whole time.

Again, there is one obvious answer.


Shiori: I'm so glad we rode it together...
Goon: (Looks like I made a great impression!)
Shiori: Today was a lot of fun. Can we do this again soon?
Goon: I'll call you.
Shiori: Let's go home, Gunpei-kun.

6/3-6/8: Sleep
6/5: Say no to Yuina



6/9 (Sunday): Study lit
6/10-6/15: :science:
6/10: Say no to Yumi
6/15: Failure event!


Goon: Ugh... nothing's going right today.
Rei: Rei: With such pathetic efforts, you cannot and will not attract the attention of a lady.
Goon: ...
Goon: (That prick went out of his way to come here and say that...)

6/16 (Sunday): Study lit
6/17-6/22: :science:
6/20: Say no to Yumi
6/22: Say no to Megumi
6/23 (Sunday): Sleep
6/24-6/29: Concert Band
6/24: Say no to Yuina
6/26: Say no to Yumi
6/30 (Sunday): Study lit
7/1-7/6: Preen
7/4: New event!

REE REE REE REE REE REE

Megumi: Um... do... do you have a second?
Goon: What's up, Mikihara-san?
Megumi: Are you... free this Sunday?

Option 1: Yeah, I'm free. Why do you ask?
Option 2: Sucks to be you, THIS guy has plans that day.

If we were worried about bombs, this would be an ideal time to choose 2. However, that would be a highway to the danger zone, so we need to keep Megumi at arm's length still. Gotta keep things on our schedule!


Megumi: (sniffle) No way...
Goon: (It hurts to be that cruel to her...)

Stay strong, Goon. The path of Utter Perfection is cruel.

7/7 (Sunday): Call Shiori

Goon: Want to go to the pool with me on 7/28?
Shiori: Let me check... yes, that's fine.
Goon: Alright, let's meet in front of the pool on that day.
Shiori: Yes, let's. Don't forget, okay?
Goon: No way will I forget. Okay, talk to you later.
(click)
Goon: Yes! I can't wait for the 28th.

7/7: Event!

Goon: Oh yeah, today's Himoo-san's birthday, isn't it?
Goon: (Should I get her a present?)

Yes.

Goon: (What should I give her?)

Best option: Book on the theory and calculation of high-speed geometry
Neutral option: Precision tool set
Worst option: Cheongsam

It's time to start being as neutral as possible with Yuina, so it's the precision tools this year.

Yuina: Yes, this is the Himoo residence.
Goon: Hi, this is Fudou...
Yuina: Gunpei-kun. You've been acting overly familiar with me lately. Can I help you?
Goon: Well, I have something I wanted to talk to you about. Could you meet me at the local park?
Yuina: I'm busy with my research, but oh well. Sure.
Goon: Okay, bye.
(click)
Goon: Alright, I'll head to the park and wait for her.


Yuina: Sorry to keep you waiting. What did you want to talk to me about?
Goon: Happy birthday! Here's your present.
Yuina: You have taken the only natural course of action. Let's see what's inside?
Goon: Sure, open it. Do you like it?
Himoo: This could be a bit useful...
Goon: (She seemed happy enough with it. Not bad, I guess.)

7/8-7/13: :science:
7/12: Walk home with Shiori


Goon: (Man, I am exhausted. I should hurry home.)
Goon: (Oh hey, that's Shiori over there.)
Goon: Hey, Shiori!
Shiori: Oh, Gunpei-kun. Are you heading home?
Goon: Yeah. Want to walk home together?
Shiori: Okay. We live right next to each other, after all. Let's walk together.

This conversation is the same. It's the next part that changes depending on time of year.


Shiori: By the way, midterms are coming up soon. Have you been studying?
Goon: A little bit, I guess...
Shiori: Then you'll have to hit the books if you want to do well.
Goon: Y...yeah, you're right.
Goon: (And, while talking about stuff like that, we walked home from school.)

7/14 (Sunday): Call Shiori

Goon: Want to go to the shrine on 8/4?
Shiori: Let me check... yes, that's fine.
Goon: Alright, let's meet in front of the shrine on that day.
Shiori: Yes, let's. Don't forget, okay?
Goon: No way will I forget. Okay, talk to you later.
(click)
Goon: Yes! I can't wait for the 4th.

7/15-7/20: Midterms


Goon: (Yes! I'm the top score! I'm the Emperor of Tests!)

REE REE REE REE REE REE

7/21 (Sunday): Sleep
7/22-7/27: Concert Band
7/24: Summer vacation starts
7/28 (Sunday): Date with Shiori

Goon: (Today's my date with Shiori.)
Goon: (Let's go meet up with her in front of the pool.)


Goon: Were you waiting long?
Shiori: No, I just got here myself.
Goon: Phew, glad I wasn't late.
Shiori: It sure is hot today.
Goon: Yeah, it really is.
Shiori: Let's head inside.
Goon: Yeah, let's go.


Shiori: What do you think of this swimsuit?

Option 1: It's very sexy.
Option 2: It doesn't look good on you.
Option 3: It's pretty cute!

3.


Shiori: Thanks! But that's kind of embarrassing to hear from you...
Goon: (Looks like I made a great impression!)


Shiori: Today was a lot of fun. Can we do this again soon?
Goon: I'll call you.
Shiori: Let's go home, Gunpei-kun.

7/29-8/3: :science:
8/4 (Sunday): Read Memorial Spot, then Date with Shiori!


Memorial Spot September/October/November
The bowling alley is open!
Movie: Sleeping Master 2　(action) (Drunken Master 2)
Concert: KNM Symphony Orchestra (Refer to the first Memorial Spot)
Stadium: September - Baseball
October - Baseball
November - Pro Wrestling
Events: The game center now has a medal corner!

A medal corner is much like the ticket/prize games out here. Play games, earn medals, redeem them for prizes.

Goon: (Bowling, eh?)


Goon: Have you been waiting long?
Shiori: No, I just got here myself.
Goon: Phew, glad I wasn't late.
Shiori: It's so lively around here!

Option 1: Praise her yukata
Option 2: Eh, no need to praise her yukata

Goon: That yukata really suits you. You look cute!
Shiori: Th, thanks. I'm happy to hear it.

Just don't mention that it's the same one as last year and we'll be fine, Goon. Praise her and move on.

Goon: Want to head to the shooting booth?
Shiori: I hope you win something good!
Goon: If I do, I'll give it to you.

Mini-game!

Use the D-pad to move the crosshairs. Press the Circle button to shoot. You have 5 shots, and when you run out, the game is over.


This mini-game is pretty awkward, because the little cork bullet in the toy rifle takes like a full half-second to reach the target, and they're on conveyor belts. Oh well!

Shiori: Hmm, not bad.
Shiori: Today was a lot of fun. Can we do this again soon?
Goon: I'll call you.
Shiori: Let's go home, Gunpei-kun.

8/5-8/10: Exercise
8/11 (Sunday): Call Shiori


Shiori: Yes, this is the Fujisaki residence.
Goon: Hi, this is Fudou Gunpei.
Shiori: Oh...!
Goon: Something wrong?
Shiori: No, no it's nothing. What're you calling about today?

This conversation has changed. This is good!

Goon: Want to go to the amusement park on 8/25?
Shiori: Let me check... Sorry, I'm busy that day. I wish I could...

Not good enough, apparently.

RELOAD COUNT: 28

Now that our rhythm is broken, might as well use a random Sunday to get a status update from Yoshio.


Oh. OH. Uh oh.

For laughs, let's ask him for Rei's profile, since the option is there.


[fixed]Ijuuin Rei
Birthday: August 23rd
Sign: Virgo
Blood type: AB
Measurements: meaningless-meaningless-meaningless
Club: Private club
Notes: SNOB SNOB SNOB SNOB SNOB SNOB SNOB (continued on next line)
SNOB SNOB SNOB SNOB SNOB SNOB SNOB [/fixed]

RELOAD COUNT: 29

8/5-8/11: Preen
8/11 (Sunday): Call Shiori

Shiori: Yes, this is the Fujisaki residence.
Goon: Hi, this is Fudou Gunpei.
Shiori: Oh...!
Goon: Something wrong?
Shiori: No, no it's nothing. What're you calling about today?
Goon: Want to go to the amusement park with me on 8/18?
Shiori: Let me check... yes, that's fine.
Goon: Alright, let's meet in front of the park on that day.
Shiori: Yes, let's. Don't forget, okay?
Goon: No way will I forget. Okay, talk to you later.
(click)
Goon: Yes! I can't wait for the 18th.

8/12-8/17: Summer Camp (AKA Concert Band)
8/13: Event!


Shiori: Gunpei-kun, you played pretty well yesterday.
Goon: You think so? But it feels like I'm nowhere near where I should be. I need to practice more.
Shiori: That may be the case, but I think you're still doing well.
Goon: Well, I at least want to be as good as you.
Shiori: What? I'm nothing special.
Goon: Say what you will, Shiori, but you set the bar for me.
Shiori: Then I'll have to make sure you don't surpass me.

8/17: Shower event


Option 2: Let's not...

8/18 (Sunday): Date with Shiori


Goon: Were you waiting long?
Shiori: No, I just got here myself.
Goon: Phew, glad I wasn't late.
Shiori: Let's get going!
Goon: Yeah.
Shiori: Where should we head?

Option 3: Let's ride the ferris wheel.


Shiori: It looks like there's no line. Let's go!


Shiori: That sure was a nice view.

Option 1: (yawn) I'm sleepy.
Option 2: Yeah, it sure was a nice view.
Option 3: All I could look at was you, Shiori.

If I remember correctly, Option 2 is the 'safe' option, while Option 3 is only a good option if Shiori already likes us. Time to test out this theory!


Shiori: What? Don't say that, you're making me blush! But... thank you.
Goon: (Looks like I made a great impression!)

Perfect.

Shiori: It looks like they're setting up for a parade.
Goon: (Now that she mentions it, there should be a night parade today)

Option 1: Invite her to watch the parade
Option 2: Feign ignorance and head home

This is a secondary affection test, from what I recall. If she doesn't like us enough, she'll decline politely and head home. If she stays, then it's extra points.


Shiori: It's so wonderful... I'm glad we could see this parade.
Goon: I'm glad you like it.
Shiori: Today was a lot of fun. Can we do this again soon?
Goon: I'll definitely call you.
Shiori: Let's go home, Gunpei-kun.

8/19-8/24: Sleep
8/25 (Sunday): Hang out with Yoshio
8/26-8/31: Concert Band

The new semester starts soon, and while summer vacation was spent driving up Shiori's affection without anyone at school noticing, the upcoming class trip is a perfect opportunity for the next CYOA poll.

Where should Goon go on his class trip?

A) Hokkaido, land of beautiful mountain landscapes and fearsome bears.
B) Okinawa, land of gorgeous beaches and fearsome sharks.
C) Kyoto and Nara, lands of awe-inspiring temples and fearsome... deer?

Poll closes at midnight Pacific, 12/15.

Next time: Fall 1996, Becoming The Man Who Will Fight For Her Honor

[Texaporte]

Chapter 11: Fall 1996, Bear Territory part 1

We're approaching the halfway point, and Utter Perfection is going as smoothly as we could hope for. Goon's stats are very close to where they need to be. Girls like him. Guys like him. Koalas like him. And coming up, we have one of the highlights of high school life ahead, the class trip. Let's see how this goes!

9/1 (Sunday): Sleep
9/2: New semester starts
9/2-9/7: Concert Band
9/2: New event!


Goon: (Man, I am exhausted. I should hurry home.)
Yuina: Ah, Gunpei-kun.
Goon: What's up, Himoo-san?
Yuina: We are walking home together.

Option 1: Sure! Let's go home together.
Option 2: It'd be kinda embarrassing, so I'll pass.

For once, we're allowed to say no to once of Yuina's statements of fact. But as you can see...


Yuina: You have displeased me. Farewell.
Goon: (She was nice enough to wait around for me, and I just acted like a jerk...)

This can be bad in the long run. We have to pray that we do not disappoint her.

9/4: Say no to Yumi

There is one line that changes here:


Goon: (She seemed pretty hurt. It looks like she was waiting for me here the whole time...)

Yumi please no bombs not yet you're just a child

9/5: Event!


Goon: Oh yeah, isn't today Mikihara-san's birthday?
Goon: (Should I get her a present?)

Option 1: Yes.
Birthdays are great opportunities to delay bombs, but again, we need to be as neutral as possible. Here are Megumi's presents in order of preference, and we're gonna get her option 2:

Best present: Plush kitten
Neutral present: Plush Twinbee
Worst present: Human anatomical model


Goon: Hey, Mikihara-san!
Megumi: Y...yes? What's going on?
Goon: Happy birthday! I got you a present.
Megumi: Th...thank you! May I open it?
Goon: Of course. Do you like it?
Megumi: This is cute... I'll treasure it!
Goon: (She seemed happy enough. Not bad, I guess.)

THAT was the neutral response? Damn, girl.

9/8 (Sunday): Concert Band
9/9-9/14: Class trip!

The traditional class trip in Japanese schools is a pretty big deal. It almost always happens during the second year of middle school and high school, since first year students don't know anything, while third year students are busy preparing for their entrance exams. Elementary school kids get to go on their class trip in 6th (and final) grade.

The kids spend months saving up money for travel expenses, and often schools will ask kids to start paying for the trip months in advance - especially considering the logistics of having to book travel and boarding for entire classes plus their teachers. It's most common for schoolkids to go somewhere accessible by bullet train (as long as it's not TOO close), but elite private schools can often afford to fly their classes out to places like Hawaii, San Francisco, Australia, and so on. Even within Japan, air travel is expensive, so going to places like Okinawa and Hokkaido for the class trip mean that Kirameki High School is pretty rich. That, or Rei just paid for the whole thing out of his monthly allowance.

Culturally, the high school trip is often the first extended time that these teenagers spend away from their parents, which is why teachers in both real life and fiction have to keep such a strict eye on all of them. Teenage hormones + crowded hotel rooms - parental authority = bad.


Goon: We're going on our school trip today!
Goon: Hmm? Wait, where were we going on our trip, again?

Option 1: Kyoto and Nara
Option 2: Okinawa
Option 3: Hokkaido

Since Hokkaido won the poll, we'll be going there for this trip. Conveniently, Hokkaido is the only destination that has a girl's special event associated with it; I'll show it to everyone once, and reload.


Goon: Oh yeah, we're going to Hokkaido. This is gonna rock!

Goon: And just like that, we're in Hokkaido.
Goon: (And the first day of the trip is over.)


Goon: Today's all group activities.
.
.
.
Goon: (The second day of the trip is over. It feels like I spent the entire day on the bus.)


Goon: Today, we have free time in Sapporo.


Yuina: Gunpei-kun. Aren't you going to say hello?
Goon: Huh? Oh, uh, yeah. Good morning, Himoo-san.
Yuina: Could it be... that you're alone?
Goon: Yeah, I am.


Yuina: It's dangerous. Very dangerous.
Yuina: I shall accompany you.

Option 1: Thanks, that'll help a lot.
Option 2: I'll be fine without you.

For this time and this time only, we'll be choosing option 1 because it triggers an event.


Yuina: Of course it will.
Yuina: Let us depart without further delay.


Goon: So this is the famous Sapporo Clock Tower...
Yuina: Soon, I will make it my very own alarm clock.
Goon: Looks like we're out of free time, let's head back.
Yuina: That is true, we should head back.
Goon: Would you be okay with spending our free activity time together, too?
Yuina: The day after tomorrow? Very well, I shall grace you with my presence. Especially since it feels like something big is about to happen...
Goon: Something big?
Yuina: It's a secret. Wait for me in the lobby when it is time.

Goon: (And so, day 3 ended.)


Goon: Today's group activity time again.
Goon: (Day 4 is over. Tomorrow is another day of free time.)


Goon: I promised Himoo-san that I'd spend today with her.
Goon: She sure is late, when's she gonna get here?
Yuina: I have come as promised. We should not waste a minute.


Goon: Ooh, it's Professor Clark! "Boys, be ambitious!" What a great saying.
Yuina: You think so? "Girls, take over" sounds better.

Translator's note: The word Yuina uses here is 野望/yabou, which also means "ambition" but is a much more sinister word than Professor Clark's parting words to his students. Clark's saying invokes 大志/taishi, which is the aspiration aspect of ambition, while Yuina's version is more like Nobunaga's Ambition. By changing two words, she completely corrupts the entire meaning of the saying, which is famous across Japan.

Goon: Whoa, a bear!


Option 1: Let's run!
Option 2: Run, I'll hold it off!

Is it a bear? -> oh boy oh boy -> WRESTLE

BEAR BATTLE


The killer brown bear attacked!


After a few rounds, the bear will always attack with Salmon Boomerang, which will always deal critical damage. It also looks hilarious.


Goon: Oh no! I'm gonna get eaten!


????: You piece of shit!
Game: The Hunter of Justice arrived!


Game: Legendary Gun "Jiroumaru" Shot
Game: "Jiroumaru" energy charge
Hunter: Y'shouldn't come out here! Gitcher ass home!


Game: Victory! Thanks, Hunter of Justice!
Game: Gained 1024 experience
Game: Earned 53 Gold
Game: Picked up Bear Claws
Game: Picked up Bear Ornament


Goon: Whew, I won! I hope Himoo-san's okay.
Yuina: You appear to be injured.
Goon: I got away with just some scratches.
Yuina: This only happened because you forced me to flee.
Goon: Huh?
Yuina: I thought that this would be the perfect time to test out my new weapon in the field!
Goon: Oh... uh. Wanna head back?
Yuina: Very well, let us head back.

For most class trips, this is the end of day 5. However, Yuina has a special event if you go sightseeing with her in Hokkaido. Let's see it!

9/13: Extra event!


Goon: Hmm? Himoo-san, what're you doing here?
Yuina: I was looking for you. Gunpei-kun, we are going out to do some field work.
Goon: Huh? Where are we going?
Yuina: At the farm next to this hotel, I found the perfect subject for research.
Goon: (Research again...)


Yuina: So, this is a crop circle. I shall explain this phenomenon scientifically.
Goon: This is the first time I've ever seen one.
Yuina: Do not just stand there. Investigate! Start from the middle.


Goon: Hey, what's that? Could it be a UFO?
Yuina: There is no such thing as an unidentified flying object. I will expose it for what it is!
Goon: WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?


The alien attacked!


At this point, Yuina pulls out a box that says "top secret" and says
Yuina: Hold it off until I have finished my preparations.

There's no way to beat the alien alone. What we have to do is buy time until Yuina finishes building whatever it is she packed in that box. Sadly, the only way to do that is with hit points, and we don't have nearly enough for this time around, since the alien does 200-ish damage a pop and we can only heal for 37 a turn at our current Stamina level.


What's... what's she building, anyway?


Game: Fudou's party fled.


Yuina: We failed because of your incompetence.
Goon: S...sorry.
Yuina: Ah well. We will win next time for sure.
Goon: (There's... gonna be a next time?)



Goon: (And that's how day 5 ended.)

Anyway, that was a nice diversion. Time to reload and take care of business with Shiori. This loss doesn't mean anything because it didn't have anything to do with Shiori, it just... it just...

It just stings, dammit! I want a rematch! We just needed more time to build up hit points, that's all!

RELOAD COUNT: 28

8/18-9/8 (all of it): Sleep
8/21: New event!


Goon: A phone call? That's rare...
Goon: Yes, this is the Fudou residence.
Yoshio: Hey, it's Yoshio. You free right now?
Goon: Oh. It's just Yoshio. Yeah, I'm free.
Yoshio: Okay, then get your butt over to the amusement park.
Goon: Why the hell do I have to go to the amusement park with a guy like you?
Yoshio: It'll be fine! I'm waiting for you.
(click)
Goon: Geez, he's pushy. I guess I don't have a choice but to go.


Goon: Sigh... I'm here. I guess I should head inside.
Yoshio: Oh hey, you're finally here!
Goon: Yoshio, seriously, what is with you calling me out to--
Goon: Huh? Shiori and Mikihara-san are here too?


Shiori: H...hi, Gunpei-kun.


Megumi: Um, uh... h...hi, Fudou-san.


Yoshio: Now aren't you glad you came? Thank me later.
Yoshio: Okay, now that we're all here, let's go ride the ferris wheel!

The double date event happens randomly in the summer, and Yoshio will invite two random girls to come to the park. For the ferris wheel, the roller coaster, and the haunted house, we can take one of the girls to each of them. For each time we pick a girl, that girl's affection will go up and the other girl will feel hurt. Tripling up on one girl is a great way to build affection without losing any Sunday/holiady actions, but it also brings the other girl dangerously close to bomb territory. It's actually a pretty inconvenient event, and I'm glad it's happening on a run I intend to reload anyway.

Yoshio: Which girl do you want to ride with?

Option 1: I'll take Shiori.
Option 2: I'll take Mikihara-san.


Shiori: Let's ride.
.
.
.
Shiori: That was a nice view, wasn't it?

In another universe, we have already answered that question. Next is the roller coaster.

Yoshio: Which girl do you want to ride with?

Option 1: I'll take Shiori.
Option 2: I'll take Mikihara-san.

We've seen this before too, so let's skip to the next part.

Yoshio: Okay, the haunted house is next.
Yoshio: Who do you want to take inside?

Option 1: I'll take Shiori.
Option 2: I'll take Mikihara-san.


Shiori: I'm a little scared already, but let's get inside.
.
.
.
Shiori: That was a little scary, don't you think?


Yoshio: Are we done already? Well, I guess it's time to head home.
Shiori: Gunpei-kun, today was a lot of fun. Thanks, and bye!
Megumi: Fudou-san... today was... um... nice. Bye...


Yoshio: I think she might like you.
Goon: (What?! Is he talking about Shiori?)
Goon: You... you might be right. Anyway, we should go.

And that ends Diversion Theater. Back to building HP for Hokkaido! Fast-forward to:

9/11 (Class Trip Day 3)


Shiori: Hey, Goon!
Goon: Oh, hey Shiori.

Oh. Great. Because we just powered through three successful dates with Shiori, she's now calling us by our nickname. That would be great, if this were a real run. Dammit, game!


Shiori: Are you about to head out?
Goon: Yeah, I was just about to.
Shiori: Can... I come with you?

Option 1: Yeah, let's go.
Option 2: No.

It hurts my soul to give up progress like this, since it shows that Shiori likes us enough to invite us out ahead of all the other girls... but the alien awaits! Option 2 it is.


Shiori: Oh... Sorry for asking.
Goon: Maybe I was too cold just now.
Goon: Well, I should get going.

:bang: Troll-ass game

Option 1: Should I invite a girl to come with me?
Option 2: Should I head out alone?

Option 1 lets us choose from a list of girls we know (except Yumi, who isn't on the class trip) and invite them to go sightseeing. We're going to choose Yuina and get back to surfing with the alien.


Goon: Ooh, just the person I was looking for.
Goon: Himoo-san!
Yuina: Ah, Gunpei-kun. What did you want?
Goon: Yeah. Do you want to come with me today?
Yuina: I was doing research, but I ran out of materials.
Goon: Huh? Research?
Yuina: I can grace you with my presence while I gather more materials.
Goon: What do you mean by materials, anyway...?
Yuina: Do not worry about petty things. We are leaving now.

Fast-forwarding again, to...

Option 1: Let's run from the bear!


Goon: Huff, puff... that was dangerous. Looks like we managed to outrun it.
Yuina: Hmph, why did we need to flee? You just grabbed me and ran.
Goon: Why? Because it was dangerous...!
Yuina: I thought that this would be the perfect time to test out my new weapon in the field!
Goon: New weapon?
Yuina: Ah well. There may be another opportunity for a field test.

Fast-forward again, to...


Yuina: There is no such thing as an unidentified flying object. I will expose it for what it is!
Goon: WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?


This time, we have more health! It takes about two minutes of being Yuina's meat shield before...


...her completed robot fires its laser beam.


The alien flees, and the robot shorts out.

Yuina: It appears there was a problem with the potential power.


Goon: I wonder what that was?
Yuina: It was nothing special. It was ten thousand light-years too early to challenge me.
Goon: Light-years measure distance.

THANK YOU


Yuina: L...let's get out of here.
Goon: (There's... a chance that we just saved the world.)

It's worth noting that this is the first time in the entire game that Yuina has stuttered.

Holy crap, it's 3 AM and I have work in 5 hours. I'll have to cut this one short and continue on the True Path of Utter Perfection next time!

[Texaporte]

Chapter 12: Fall 1996, Bear territory part 2

So it turns out that chapter 11 actually only covers one week of game time due to the... strange circumstances involved. Let's get back to it!

RELOAD COUNT: 30

9/9-9/14: Class trip

Fast-forwarding to day 3...

9/11: Free time


Goon: Today, we have free time in Sapporo.


Yuina: Gunpei-kun. Aren't you going to say hello?
Goon: Huh? Oh, uh, yeah. Good morning, Himoo-san.
Yuina: Could it be... that you're alone?
Goon: Yeah, I am.


Yuina: It's dangerous. Very dangerous.
Yuina: I shall accompany you.

Option 1: Thanks, that'll help a lot.
Option 2: I'll be fine without you.

This time, we're choosing Option 2. It's less dangerous that way.


Yuina: You will die... you will definitely die. Farewell.
Goon: ......
Goon: Anyway, I should head out.

Option 1: Should I invite a girl to come with me?
Option 2: Should I head out alone?

Time to invite Shiori! Option 1 and Shiori it is.


Goon: Ooh, just the person I was looking for.
Goon: Shiori.
Shiori: Ah, Goon.

That's good, at least, in this run she's still affectionate to call us by our nickname.

Goon: Want to head out with me today?
Shiori: Huh? Oh, yes. Happily...
Goon: Then what're we waiting for?
Shiori: J,just wait a second, I need to go get ready.


Shiori: I'm sorry it took so long. Let's go.

Dammit woman, you look exactly the same! What were you getting ready for? Bear fighting?


Goon: So this is the famous Sapporo Clock Tower...
Shiori: I bet it's even more gorgeous when the lilacs are in bloom.
Goon: Looks like we're out of free time, let's head back.
Shiori: Yes, it's getting late.
Goon: Would you be okay with spending the next day of free time with me?
Shiori: Yes, that's fine. Let's meet up in the hotel lobby.
Goon: (And so, day 3 ended.)


9/13: Day 5 - free time

Goon: Today's another day of free time. I promised to head out with Shiori...
Goon: She sure is late, when's she gonna get here?


Shiori: Sorry I'm late. Let's head out.


Goon: Ooh, it's Professor Clark! "Boys, be ambitious!" What a great saying.
Shiori: It really is. I think it's wonderful to dream big.
Goon: Look out! A bear!
Option 2: Run! I'll hold it off!


This is the same as before.

Goon: Whew, I won. I hope Shiori's okay.


Shiori: Is everything okay? Are you hurt?
Goon: Yeah, I got away with just some scrapes.
Shiori: Thank goodness. I was really worried... but thank you.
Goon: You're making me blush. Should we head back?
Shiori: Yeah, we should.
Goon: (And that's how day 5 ended.)


Goon: I'm so tired... but we're finally back home. The class trip is over.
Goon: That was a really memorable trip, though.

9/15 (Sunday): Call Yumi

We have pretty much ignored Yumi for 6 months, so it's about time to reset the timer on her bomb. Not defuse it, that's pretty much impossible...


Yumi: Yes, this is the Saotome residence.
Goon: Hi, this is Fudou Gunpei.
Yumi: Fudou-san? Do you need something from Yumi?
Goon: Want to go to the game center on 10/13?
Yumi: Yeah, sure!
Goon: Alright, let's meet in front of the game center on the 13th.
Yumi: Got it. Cross your heart, hope to die, stick a needle in your eye!
Goon: Hahaha... cross my heart. Say hi to Yoshio for me!
(click)

Goon: Alright! I can't wait for the 13th.

That is because you are a fool, Goon. A foolish fool.

9/16-9/21: Concert Band
9/22 (Sunday): Preen
9/23 (Holiday): Preen
9/24-9/28: Concert Band
9/29 (Sunday): Sleep
9/30-10/5: Concert Band
10/1: Say no to Yuina
10/6 (Sunday): Exercise
10/7-10/9, 10/11: Forced into Concert Band to prepare for the Culture Festival
10/10 (Holiday): Sleep
10/12: Culture festival!


Goon: Today's the Culture Festival.
Goon: The Concert Band will be doing a charumera concert in the gym. I should hurry and get ready.

The charumera is... interesting in Japanese culture. It's a double-reeded woodwind that is sometimes used in kabuki performances, but is most commonly associated with ramen. Apparently, the proprietors of ramen carts used to play them to alert the neighborhood that they were there, much like the jingles used by ice cream trucks. The sound has become so linked to ramen that a lot of ramen shops still play the music outside their doors.

Proof I'm not making this up: [video type="youtube"]Z9dgsjsg_LI[/video]


Shiori: Don't you think this year's song is kinda weird?
Goon: A concert band arrangement of a charumela song? Yeah, it's pretty funny.
Shiori: I wonder who wrote this?
Goon: I don't know, we just got the sheet music and practiced it.
Shiori: It looks like we're going on stage soon. Let's do our best, okay?

As far as two decades of fandom can tell, the reason that this weird-ass concert exists is because of Ayako. She goes to the Concert Band if Shiori kicks her out of the Art Club, and she thinks it's funny. Ayako is a special girl.


I'll send this one over to get giffed and tindecked as well. Thanks!


Okay, I have to admit that I wasn't expecting that to be the big finish. Shiori doesn't look happy to be doing this. Or maybe she's fine and it's too low-res to tell.


Shiori: It seemed like everyone in the audience had fun.
Goon: Good, I'm glad our hard work paid off.
Shiori: It'll be nice if next year goes this well, too.
Goon: Yeah.
Goon: (And that's how the Culture Festival ended.)

10/13: Date with Jaws... I mean Yumi

Goon: (Today's my date with Yumi-chan.)
Goon: (I should go wait for her in front of the game center.)


Oh god Yumi why are you blushing can I go home now please I don't feel comfortable anymore
Goon: Did I keep you waiting?
Yumi: Uh-uh. Yumi just got here too.
Goon: I'm glad I wasn't late.
Yumi: Let's go, let's go!
Goon: Yeah, let's head inside.

Option 1: Let's go to the game corner.
Option 2: Let's go to the medal corner.

Both of these are fine with Yumi, so let's just be lazy and pick 1.


Yumi: Yumi likes arcades, even though she's a girl.

Option 1: I don't really mind.
Option 2: Will you turn into a delinquent?
Option 3: A lot more girls are coming to these places lately.

I was a fool. A foolish fool. And I chose 1, thinking that it was more neutral than 3.

Yumi: Yumi is really happy that you said that.
Goon: (Looks like I made a great impression!)

NO. NO WHY. YUMI PLEEEEEEASE


Yumi: Today was super duper fun. Invite Yumi out again, okay?
Goon: Sure, I'll call you soon.
Yumi: Fudou-san, let's walk home together.
Goon: Let's go home.

Yumi no please go away I was trying to say something noncommital why do you have to be like this god Yumi why :bang:

10/14-10/19: Concert Band
10/19: New version of the perfect week event!


Shiori: You played really well today.
Goon: Thanks.
Goon: (Alright! I'm really motivated now.)

10/20 (Sunday): Exercise
10/21-10/26: Concert Band
10/21: Say no to Megumi

Megumi gets this line:
Goon: (She seemed pretty hurt. It looks like she was waiting for me here the whole time...)

This line is pretty much your Bomb Threat Level. If Goon says "I acted pretty rude" then you're fine. If Goon says "She seemed pretty hurt" then you're in the yellow. If Goon says "She's really hurt. I'm a jackass." then you're in orange threat level. And if the girl looks at Goon, says nothing, and goes home, then you're in red threat level. It gets bad. We'll see it soon enough.

10/24: Shiori invitation to a date on the 27th


Shiori: Hey, are you free this Sunday?
Goon: Option 1: I'm free, what's up?
Shiori: If that's the case, do you want to go to the aquarium with me?
Goon: Option 1: That's fine. Let's go.
Shiori: Really? Then, um...
Goon: Want to meet up in front of the aquarium?
Shiori: Yes, that's fine. Don't forget, okay?
Goon: (This Sunday. I have to make sure I don't forget.)

This is where taking copious notes (and, in some cases, reloading without remorse) pays off - girls can invite Goon out on Sundays where he's already scheduled for a date, and being doubled booked is REALLY BAD. Like, insta-bomb bad.

10/26: Event with Rei, for some reason

Even though there were plenty of successes in the week, we get this:


Goon: (Sigh... something's just not right with me today.)
Rei: How pointless... Well, do your best, I suppose.
Goon: ......
Goon: (Ugh, I just don't care anymore.)

10/27: Date with Shiori

Goon: (Today's my date with Shiori.)
Goon: (I should go meet her in front of the aquarium.)


Goon: Were you waiting long?
Shiori: No, I just got here myself.
Goon: Phew, glad I wasn't late.
Shiori: Let's head in.
Goon: Yeah, let's go.


Shiori: The dolphin show was pretty good, don't you think?

Option 1: Aren't their teeth scary?
Option 2: Dolphins are mammals.
Option 3: Dolphins are pretty smart, huh.

Dolphins are actually pretty scary, but that's beside the point. Let's go with #3.

Shiori: That's true. I really admire them.
Goon: (Looks like I made a pretty good impression.)


Shiori: Thanks for coming out with me today.
Goon: I'll do it any time.
Shiori: Let's head home, Goon.

At this point, I'd like to point out that Goon is Big Man on Campus now. While he may not be High School Superman quite yet, it's pretty close. He's handsome, he has the highest grades in class, he stands out from the crowd during PE (not that you can tell from the sports festival...), and he can play the trumpet like a m-fing riot. The mask is slipping off slowly but surely, and any attempts to remain incognito are now doomed to failure.

This means that the next part of the game is going to be a huge minefield. The Ijuuin Christmas party looms ahead as well, and we have to figure out a way to hold off Megumi and Yumi, who are rapidly becoming problems.

This could get really ugly, really fast.

Next time: We are young, heartache to heartache we stand. Also: reloading. LOTS of reloading.

[Texaporte]

Chapter 13: The smell of napalm in the morning

The pursuit of Utter Perfection has been costly. On a normal Shiori route, you have to dodge as many people as possible in order to lie low for a few years and avoid bombings - this means no going to the Ijuuin Christmas party and no standing out enough for Megumi to be interested. However, that doesn't suit the life of a High School Superman, and we have to make do with what we have. And that means not only going to the Christmas party again, but meeting a 5th girl in order to meet someone who is not Megumi at the Christmas party.

Here beginneth The Struggle(tm). We must survive it for 17 more months.

10/28-11/2: Sleep
10/29: Event!


Yuina: Gunpei-kun.
Goon: Himoo-san. What's up?
Yuina: You are free this upcoming Sunday, yes?

Option 1: Yeah, I'm free. Why do you ask?
Option 2: Sucks to be you, THIS guy has plans that day.

Well, that's convenient. Let's go with 1 and save ourselves a Sunday in the future. Also, I think the goons will riot if I say no to Yuina too often.


Yuina: Then we are going to the botanical garden.

Option 1: That's fine. Let's go.
Option 2: Nah, I'll pass.

Choosing 1 here.

Yuina: Of course.
Goon: Should we meet in front of the garden?
Yuina: That is acceptable. If you forget, you must be prepared for the consequences.
Goon: (This Sunday, eh? I have to make sure I don't forget.)

10/29: Another event!


Goon: (There seems to be some weird gossip circulating around the girls lately...)

This is our bomb early warning system! This is nearly guaranteed to be Megumi or Yumi, and was triggered by Yuina asking us out. Gotta find out who it is and defuse that bomb ASAP!

11/2: Say no to Megumi


Goon: (I hurt her pretty badly... I'm such an idiot.)

Yep. It's Megumi.

11/3 (Sunday): Date with Yuina

Goon: (Today's my date with Himoo-san. I should go meet her in front of the botanical garden.)


Goon: Were you waiting long?
Yuina: I have not been waiting very long. You are right on time.
Goon: I'm glad I wasn't late.
Yuina: We are heading inside now.
Goon: Yeah, let's head in.


Yuina: I would like to grow at least this much flora for research purposes.

Option 1: What kind of research would you use it for?
Option 2: Could we just enjoy the pretty flowers?
Option 3: Can you eat all of this?

Looks like there's no neutral response, just two bad ones and a good one. Oh well. 1 it is.


Yuina: That is top secret. I have so many things I want to do, I have a hard time deciding.
Goon: (Looks like I made a pretty good impression.)


Yuina: That was fun, yes?
Goon: Yeah, it was really fun.
Yuina: We should both head home, Gunpei-kun.

11/4 (Holiday): Call Yoshio

We just saved, so now we have to make sure!

Goon: I'd like to know what the girls think of me.
Yoshio: What they think of you, eh? Gimme a second.
Yoshio: What the girls think of you is...

REE REE REE REE REE REE


Yoshio: Something like this.


There it is, the first bomb of this run! To defuse a bomb, we'll need to invite her out on a date and not have it suck.

By the way, Yuina appears to be in love with Goon. This is inconvenient at best.

11/5-11/10: Concert Band
11/5: New event!

Goon: (Man, I am exhausted. I should hurry home.)
Goon: (Oh hey, that's Mikihara-san over there.)
Goon: Hey, Mikihara-san!

REE REE REE REE REE REE


Megumi: ......
Goon: Hmm? That's weird, she just ran off without saying anything.
Goon: (Maybe I hurt Mikihara-san at some point?)

REE REE REE REE REE REE

11/7: Tell Yuina we're busy on Sunday


Yuina: You have displeased me. Farewell.
Goon: (Maybe I was a little too cold there)

I'm so sorry but we need this Sunday really badly

11/10 (Sunday): Call Megumi

REE REE REE REE REE REE


Megumi: Yes, this is the Mikihara residence.
Goon: Hi, this is Fudou Gunpei...
Megumi: (gasp)
Goon: Hello? Is something wrong?
Megumi: I'm... I'm sorry! What might you calling about?
Goon: Want to go to the museum on 12/1?
Megumi: ...
Goon: What's wrong?
Megumi: I'm sorry... I have to be somewhere that day.

RELOAD COUNT: 32

10/28-11/2: Concert Band
10/29: Meet Miharu again
This is the same the first time we met Miharu pre-reload, back in Chapter 5.
11/3 (Sunday): Call Megumi

Goon: Want to go to the shopping district with me on 12/1?
Megumi: What? Y...Yes, gladly!
Goon: Alright, let's meet in front of the shopping district on that day.
Megumi: .....
Goon: What's that? I couldn't hear you.
Megumi: Y...yes, we'll meet there!
Goon: Okay, don't forget.
(click)
Goon: Goon: Yes! I can't wait for the 1st.

Note that the bomb doesn't really go away until the day of the date. This prevents scumbag tactics like calling up someone and using that day for something else anyway. It also makes the game more difficult in general.

11/4 (Holiday): Sleep
11/5-11/9: Sleep
11/7: Say no to Yuina again
Yuina's disappointment leads to Yellow Threat Level assessment by Goon
11/8: Say no to Megumi again
Megumi's disappointment leads to Yellow Threat Level assessment by Goon, which is at least an improvement
11/10 (Sunday): Preen
11/11-11/16: Concert Band
11/11: Say no to Megumi AGAIN.
Goon gives Orange threat level here.

11/11: Bomb Warning
Goon: (There seems to be some weird gossip circulating around the girls lately...)



11/17 (Sunday): Read Memorial Spot, then Sleep


Memorial Spot December/January/February
The Planetarium has opened!
Movie: Melody of Love (Romance) (Melody, or S.W.A.L.K.
Concert: Bees (New Music) (No, not the bees, this is legendary rock duo B'z, who have like a gazillion #1 singles in Japan.)
Stadium: December - nothing
January - Pro Wrestling
February - Nothing
Events: Look forward to our next issue!

Goon: (A planetarium, eh?)

11/18-11/22: Practice Art

This is a future-proofing measure, to meet Ayako and try to avoid Megumi at the Christmas Party. However...


Shiori what are you doing here :bang:

11/18: New event!


I guess that answers that question.

Goon: (Man, I'm exhausted. I should hurry home.)
Shiori: Ah, Goon.
Goon: Shiori? What's up?
Shiori: Our houses are right next to each other and all, so I thought that it might be nice to walk home together once in a while...

Option 1: Sure! Let's go home together.
Option 2: It'd be kinda embarrassing, so I'll pass.

The only right choice is 1! That totally hasn't come back to bite us in the ass before!

Goon: (Shiori and I had fun walking home together.)

11/23 (Holiday): Exercise
11/24 (Sunday): Exercise
11/25-11/30: Exercise

Since we didn't meet Ayako, we might as well meet Yukari, right?


Oh. I guess Shiori's there for the cock block again.

11/25: New event!


Goon: (Man, today was another exhausting day.)
Yukari: Oh nooo, look oooou--
Goon: Huh? (THWACK)


Yukari: Are you alright?
Goon: Oww...
Yukari: Umm... are you perhaps injured?
Goon: Yeah, seems like I survived somehow.
Yukari: I beg your forgiveness. But you appear to be okay.
Goon: I'm not okay. I'll forgive you if you tell me your name, though.
Yukari: Hehehe. I am known as Koshiki Yukari. What is your name?
Goon: I'm Fudou Gunpei.
Yukari: I need to return to my club soon, so I must beg your pardon.
Goon: (That tennis ball hurt, but I guess it's a fair trade for meeting Koshiki-san...)

Translator's note: Here is the designated Yamato Nadeshiko of the game! Koshiki Yukari's last name roughly translates to "old-school," and she speaks very formally. It's really hard to render in English without getting into thees and thous, which are a little too outdated. She also speaks really slowly.

11/26: Say no to Yumi
Goon gives the green threat level indicator here. Good.

12/1 (Sunday): Date with Megumi

Goon: (Today's my date with Megumi. I should go meet up with her in front of the shopping district.)


I feel like this is a good time to mention that Megumi's nickname in some corners of fandom is "Metto-chan", which is short for "Helmet-chan". I guess it's a good thing that she's helmeted, in case she falls over - it's not like she'll be able to catch herself with her hands stuck to her jaw like that...

Goon: Were you waiting long?
Megumi: N, no...
Goon: Phew, glad I wasn't late.
Megumi: So where should we go?

Option 2, the accessories shop, should be pretty safe.

Megumi: O, okay! Let's go.


Megumi: Um... do you think this is cute?

Option 1: Yeah, it really suits you.
Option 2: I don't think so at all.
Option 3: But that one's pretty cute too.

Option 3 seems like the most neutral, so let's go with that one


Megumi: You're right... it really is cute...
Goon: (Looks like I made a pretty good impression.)


Goon: Did you have fun?
Megumi: Um... I had a lot of fun.
Goon: Can I invite you out again some time?
Megumi: Y, yes...
Goon: Then I'll call you some time soon.
Megumi: Fudou-kun... um... could we...
Goon: Could we walk home together?
Megumi: Y, yes...

REE REE REE REE REE REE

12/2-12/7: Concert Band
12/7: Praised by Shiori


Shiori: Let's practice hard today, too.
Goon: I will.
Goon: (Alright, I'm really motivated now.)

12/8: Call Yoshio


Success! No bombs, and Yuina appears to have fallen out of love. Yumi and Megumi are still problems, but... wait, why is Yukari at the smiley stage too? Oh well, let's ask for her profile.


[fixed]Koshiki Yukari
Birthday: June 13th
Sign: Gemini
Blood type: B
Measurements: 81-60-84 (32-24-33)
Club: Tennis
Notes: Doesn't like any sports other than tennis.
Seems to hate loud things.[/fixed]

At this point, I realized that I'd made a minor mistake and had wasted a week on art without meeting Ayako, since Concert Band already turbo-charges that stat. Also, meeting Yukari doesn't free up any actions - choosing to exercise will still meet Nozomi and, eventually, Saki.

RELOAD COUNT: 33

At this point, I just wanted to see if it was still possible to meet Ayako.

12/2-12/7: Practice art
12/3: Say no to Yumi
Yumi threat level: Yellow
12/7: New event!

Goon: Art sets the heart at ease.
Goon: (Man, that was a cool line.)


Ayako: Suteki! What a wonderful piece.

Translator's note: I've decided to pull out an old subtitler's convention for when Japanese people speak partially in English - swapping the English and Japanese. In this case, she uses the English word "Beautiful!"


Goon: Oh, uh, thanks.
Ayako: If you're this good, why haven't you joined the art club yet?
Goon: It's good for my health to draw every once in a while, that's all.
Ayako: Oh yeah? Every once in a while, for your health...
Goon: Yeah, it activates the pressure points in the hand like this, and... wait, no, that's not it at all.
Ayako: Hahahaha... I'm Katagiri Ayako. And you are...?
Goon: Oh, I'm Fudou Gunpei.
Ayako: If you ever want to take me up on my offer, come to the art club. You're always welcome.
Goon: If I ever feel like it, I will.
Ayako: Okay, gotta go. See you later!
Goon: She's pretty interesting...

Recon mission complete. It's possible! Time to swap Yukari out for Ayako in the next game. But first...

12/8 (Sunday): Call Yoshio


[fixed]Katagiri Ayako
Birthday: September 30th
Sign: Libra
Blood type: B
Measurements: 86-59-86 (34-23-34)
Club: Art
Notes: Likes grotesque art and pop music.
Doesn't like quiet places.[/fixed]

RELOAD COUNT: 34

Oh god my save games were on 12/1 (after Yukari) and 10/27. SUNOVA

10/27-11/2: Sleep
10/29: Go home with Shiori
10/29: Bomb warning


Goon: (There seems to be some weird gossip making its way around the girls lately...)



10/31: New event!


Goon: (Mm, it sure feels nice up here on the roof.)
Goon: (Hmm? Isn't that Himoo-san over there?)

Looks like we've stumbled onto one of Yuina's automatic events - if her affection is high enough, it'll just happen after school one day.


Yuina: Sigh...
Goon: What's with the long face, Himoo-san?


Yuina: Ah? Oh, Gunpei-kun. It appears you have caught me at my worst.
Goon: What's wrong? You're not acting like yourself, Himoo-san.
Yuina: I will tell you this precisely because I am not acting like myself... The truth is, I am in a slump.
Goon: What do you mean, a slump?
Yuina: No matter what I do, I cannot come up with any good ideas.
Goon: If you don't mind, I could help you think some up...


Yuina: Thank you. But for the moment, I want to work through it myself.
Goon: Yeah? Then I'll leave you to it. I hope you think up some good ideas soon.
Yuina: Yes. I will try to calm down and think it over.
Goon: (I wonder if she's okay... she's mumbling something to herself over there.)
Yuina: Ahhhh, I still cannot think of any good ideas for my ultimate weapon.
Goon: ...
Goon: (What's that girl thinking?)

11/3 (Sunday): Call Megumi

Goon: Want to go to the shopping district on 11/23?
Megumi: What? Y...Yes, gladly!
Goon: Alright, let's meet in front of the shopping district that day.
Megumi: .....
Goon: What's that? I couldn't hear you.
Megumi: Y...yes, we'll meet there!
Goon: Okay, don't forget.
(click)
Goon: Goon: Yes! I can't wait for the 23rd.

This is a better schedule overall, since it gives more room for girls to ask Goon out on Sundays (they don't seem to ask for holiday time, for some reason).

11/4 (Holiday): Call Yoshio for a status update


Better. Sorry, Yuina.

11/5-11/9: Practice Art
11/6: Meet Ayako
Same event as above.

11/8: Say no to Megumi
Megumi bomb threat level: orange

11/10 (Sunday): Preen
11/11-11/16: Concert Band
11/13: Say no to Yuina
Yuina bomb threat level: yellow
11/15: New event!


No Ayako you were supposed to be a safety valve why you gotta do us like this

Ayako: Ah, Fudou-kun.
Goon: What's up, Katagiri-san?
Ayako: I figured it'd be nice to walk home together once in a while.

Option 2. Too soon, Ayako, too soon.

Ayako: Oh? That's too bad. Bye...
Ayako bomb threat level: green

11/16: Praised by Shiori
11/17 (Sunday): Call Yoshio for status + Ayako's info


As you can see, the act of inviting a girl out only takes off so much heat. To take that bomb away requires that date on 11/23.

11/18-11/22: Concert Band
11/19: Say no to Yumi
Yumi bomb threat level: Green
11/23 (Holiday): Date with Megumi

This date is exactly the same as the date above, but with Megumi's fall outfit instead of her winter one. Observe:



11/24 (Sunday): Sleep
11/25-11/30: Concert band
12/1 (Sunday): Call Shiori

We can't just be caught treading water. These Shiori events won't trigger themselves! Well, some of them will, but that's beside the point. With a romance playing at the theater, it's a perfect time to invite her to the--


Wait why is there no option to go to the theater? Oh crap, I forgot to read Memorial Spot in this save game so the date spot's not unlocked! Nnnnooooooooooo

RELOAD COUNT: 35

11/25-11/30: Concert Band
12/1 (Sunday): Read Memorial Spot! Then call Shiori

Goon: Want to go to the movies with me on 12/15?
Shiori: Let me check... yes, that's fine.
Goon: Alright, let's meet in front of the theater on that day.
Shiori: Yes, let's. Don't forget, okay?
Goon: No way will I forget. Okay, talk to you later.
(click)
Goon: Yes! I can't wait for the 15th.

12/2-12/6: Sleep
12/3: Say no to Yumi
Yumi bomb threat level: green
12/7: Go home with Shiori
12/8 (Sunday): Call Shiori

Vacation time = date Shiori time

Goon: Want to go skiing on 12/29?
Shiori: Let me check... yes, that's fine.
Goon: Alright, let's meet in front of the slopes that day.
Shiori: Yes, let's. Don't forget, okay?
Goon: No way will I forget. Okay, talk to you later.
(click)
Goon: Yes! I can't wait for the 29th.

12/9-12/14: Midterms


Goon: (Yes! I'm the top score! I'm the Emperor of Tests!)

12/15 (Sunday): Date with Shiori


Goon: Were you waiting long?
Shiori: No, I just got here myself.
Goon: Phew, glad I wasn't late.
Shiori: The curtain's going up, we should go in and sit down.
Shiori: There are some open seats over there. Let's sit.


Goon: (Melody of Love is a romance about the deep love between a boy and a girl.)

As usual, the date response comes down to figuring out if the girl liked the movie or not. Shiori loves romances, as before, so...

Goon: Option 1: Wasn't that movie fun?
Shiori: Yes, it was wonderful. I love these movies.
Goon: (Looks like I made a great impression!)
Shiori: Today was a lot of fun. We should do this again some time, okay?
Goon: Definitely. I'll call you again soon.
Shiori: Let's walk home together, Goon.

12/16-12/21: Concert Band
12/21: Go home with Shiori

This is the same as usual, except for this part:


Shiori: Oh yeah, winter vacation is coming up. Do you have any plans?

Yes, Shiori, we're going skiing.

Goon: Hmm? No, not really. What about you, Shiori?

Wait, weren't we going skiing? Go back to the part where we were talking about going skiing.


Shiori: I was thinking that I might go skiing some time.

Because we invited you, right? Say something, Goon!

Goon: Skiing, eh? That might be nice...

OF COURSE IT MIGHT BE NICE IT WAS OUR IDEA IN THE FIRST PLACE

12/21: Bomb warning event

Going home with Shiori was a mistake. Not just because the script writers forgot to consider the case where you go home with Shiori and already have plans to go skiing with her for winter vacation. But also because it pushed someone over the edge into Bomberhood. We'll find out who it is next time (dun dun DUNNNNNN), but the candidates are Yuina and Yumi, since Megumi's bomb was cleared very recently,

12/22 (Sunday): Preen

The Ijuuin Christmas party is coming up very soon, and we need to have 100 Looks in order to get in this year! Rei wasn't kidding when he said that he was going to force the man at the gate to be more strict...

Next time: All I Want For Christmas Electric Boogaloo

[Texaporte]

Chapter 14: Winter 1996/97, Groundhog Christmas 2

Christmas 1996 is going to be a very tenuous time. If at all possible, we have five objectives, listed from most important to least important:

1) Avoid Megumi
2) Clear Yuina's bomb
3) Avoid Yumi
4) Don't open Rei's present
5) Open Shiori's present

That's the ideal scenario, since it will keep the two bombers below maximum affection, avoid having to date Yuina for a few months, and max out Shiori's affection. It's why we know Ayako and Yuina in the first place, so we are going to reload until we have that Perfect Christmas Party. Strap yourselves in, this could take a while. We're going to keep reloading until the Christmas Party event is exactly Shiori, Yuina, and Ayako. Getting Shiori's present at that point is a bonus.

If getting these five exact events to happen sounds ridiculous, it's because it is. The safest option is honestly to dodge the Christmas Party entirely, but Shiori does have an event that requires the Christmas Party... so Utter Perfection demands that we at least make the attempt.

12/23 (Holiday): Exercise
12/24: Ijuuin Christmas Party

Goon: (They're holding a Christmas party at the Ijuuin house today. I should probably head to the grounds.)
Goon: Here I am at the Ijuuin house. No matter how many times I see it, this place still looks enormous to me.


Man in black: Would you happen to be a friend of Rei-sama?
Goon: I don't know if we're friends, but we're classmates.
Man in black: That's good enough. Please come inside.

Goon: Looks like the party's just starting.


Rei: Welcome, everyone, to the pride of the Ijuuin family - our Christmas party.
Rei: Forget your dreary everyday lives, and make merry tonight!
Goon: Is he just saying the same thing every year?


Rei: Did you say something?
Goon: How could you not hear that? Are you stupid?
Rei: How uncouth. However, it is but the howling of a peasant. It affects me less than a mosquito bite.
Goon: I hate you.
Rei: Go and taste the kind of luxury you can only see once a year.
Rei: Haaaahahahahahaha! And now, I must excuse myself.
Goon: I really hate that guy.


Shiori: Ah, Goon. You were invited too?
Goon: Shiori, I didn't know you were here.
Game: Talked to Shiori for a while.
Shiori: My friends are waiting for me, so I'm going to go meet back up with them.
Goon: Okay, see you later.

REE REE REE REE REE REE

Megumi: Oh, Fudou-kun! You were invited here?
Goon: Mikihara-san, I didn't know you were here.
Game: Talked to Mikihara-san for a while.
Megumi: Um... sorry... I have to go...
Goon: Don't let me keep you. See you later.


Yumi: Fudou-san, you were invited?
Goon: Yumi-chan, I didn't know you were here.
Game: Talked to Yumi-chan for a while.
Yumi: Yumi came here with some classmates, so it's time to go.
Goon: Don't let me keep you. See you later.


It's Yumi-chan's present! The Tokimeki Card Game. We should play with her some time.

This is one of the nightmare scenarios. Yumi and Megumi's affection will skyrocket with this, and Yuina still has that bomb we haven't cleared. So...

RELOAD COUNT: 36

12/23 (Holiday): Exercise
12/24: Ijuuin Christmas Party, part 2


Shiori-Megumi-Yumi again, but at least we got Shiori's present. This is merely the second-worst outcome! Might as well create a new save here, just in case.

RELOAD COUNT: 37

12/23 (Holiday): Exercise


A gust of wind...

RELOAD COUNT: 38

12/23 (Holiday): Exercise


A dog barks...

RELOAD COUNT: 39


Cue the truck.

RELOAD COUNT: 40

At this point, we're starting to despair of ever getting a sequence that is not just Shiori-Megumi-Yumi. It's pretty brutal since this has a huge impact on the coming year. At this point, I reloaded an earlier save just to see if I needed to change the RNG seed or something. It didn't work, and it was Megumi and Yumi at the Christmas party again.

RELOAD COUNT: 41

Shiori... then Megumi... then...


Ayako: Merry Christmas! Glad to see you here, Fudou-kun.
Goon: Katagiri-san, I didn't know you were here.
Game: Talked to Katagiri-san for a while.
Ayako: Ah, gomen nasai, I'm sorry! My friends are waiting for me, I have to go.
Goon: Okay, see you later.


It's Katagiri-san's present! It's a book of of R.H. Gergie's art. Ummmm, it's very... artistic.

Well, at least we know that things can change.

RELOAD COUNT: 42


Yuina: Ah, Gunpei-kun, I knew you were coming.
Goon: Himoo-san, you're here too?
Game: Spent a while talking to Himoo-san.
Yuina: I have research left undone, so I will have to excuse myself.
Goon: Okay, see you later.

Good... good... this is good...

REE REE REE REE REE REE

GodDAMMIT

RELOAD COUNT: 43

The next three runs had Megumi-Yumi sequences too.

RELOAD COUNT: 44, 45, 46

The next run had Megumi-Yuina. Improved, but still bad.

RELOAD COUNT: 47

Megumi-Yumi again.

RELOAD COUNT: 48


Promising...


YES


Game: It's time for the gift exchange. Pick which present you want to open.

Why am I not playing with save states damn you PS3 emulation why can't you just do this one thing for me why do I have to deal with a 25% chance after reloading 13 times


It's Himoo-san's present! A notebook-sized supercomputer! I feel the need... the need for research!

This is the second-best outcome. I could do a good-enough run. I really could. But you guys voted for Utter Perfection and that means I shouldn't settle for second-best. After all, how long could it take?

RELOAD COUNT: 107

No, that is not a misprint. I kept a running tally.

In those 59 reloads, there were 5 Shiori-Yuina-Ayako sequences, and a whole lot of Megumi and Yumi in between. But this one finally went well...


Shiori.


Yuina.


Ayako.


It's Shiori's present! A white coffee cup? This will make coffee taste better.

I am never, ever reloading a game this many times again. But here's our reward, at the end of the party:


Shiori: Hey, Goon!
Goon: Hey, Shiori. What's up?
Shiori: If it's okay with you... do you want to walk home together?
Goon: Yeah, I'll walk you home.


Shiori: Wasn't that a fun party?
Goon: (It would've been better if Ijuuin hadn't been there.)
Shiori: Oh yeah, didn't we used to have our own Christmas party every year?
Goon: I think so. I wonder when we started going to different parties.
Shiori: You don't remember? A certain somebody decided to go off on their own and go out with their friends back in grade school.
Goon: ...you mean me?


Shiori: (giggle) It was... me.
Goon: Hey!
Shiori: Eek! Sorry! I'm sorry.
Goon: Teasing me like that...


Shiori: Hey, look!
Goon: Hmm?
Shiori: It's snowing...
Goon: It really is...
Shiori: How beautiful... it's a white Christmas.
Goon: (I have to make sure and thank Santa Claus.)

We could have just waited until Christmas 1997 to see this, and it probably would have been way less frustrating. But here's the thing: the Megumi and Yumi dodging was vital to success. Megumi is liable to overtake Shiori at any opportunity. We can never give her the chance.

12/24-12/28 (winter break): Exercise
12/29 (Sunday): Date with Shiori

I'll be honest, I nearly forgot about this. It's... it's been a long two days.

Goon: (Today's my date with Shiori. I should go meet up with her in front of the slopes.)

Goon: It doesn't look like Shiori's here yet.
Goon: I'll wait a little longer.


Shiori: I'm really sorry. I was held up a little bit...
Goon: No, don't worry about it. I just got here.
Shiori: Then what are we waiting for? Let's get skiing!


Shiori: how good are you at skiing?

Option 1: I can sled, at least.
Option 2: I can kinda ski alright.
Option 3: I can handle myself pretty well.

Shiori loves skiing, so it's time to be good at skiing with option 3.

Shiori: If that's the case, let's to to the expert course.
Goon: (Looks like I made a great impression!)


Shiori: Today was a lot of fun. Will you invite me out again some time?
Goon: Yeah, of course. I'll call you soon.
Shiori: Let's head home, Goon.

12/30-12/31: Exercise

1/1 (New Year's Day): Hatsumoude event


(ding dong!)
Goon: Who's there?
Deliveryman: Here're your New Year's cards!
Goon: (Sweet! Shiori, Himoo-san, and Mikihara-san sent New Year's cards. How lucky!)

In one of the previous loads, I checked this day just in case. Yes, if we see Yumi on Christmas 1996, her affection goes high enough to send a New Year's card too. Bullet dodged.

(ding-dong!)
Goon: Hmm? Who could that be?


Shiori: Happy new year!
Goon: Happy new year. That furisode looks really good.
Shiori: Oh, thanks... hey, do you want to head out to Hatsumoude...?

Option 1: That sounds good, let's go.
Option 2: Nah, I'll pass.

Speaking of bullets dodged, in some of the Megumi Christmas party runs, it was Megumi who came over to invite us out to Hatsumoude. Double dodged. Anyway, given the sheer amount of work we put into it, there is no way in hell we are turning her down.

Shiori: I'm so glad you didn't say no. Let's go!


Goon: Alright, let's go pay our respects.
Shiori: Yeah, we shouldn't waste any time.


Goon: what should I pray for?

Option 1: Success in academics
Option 2: Health
Option 3: Luck in love

As explained in Chapter 6, the best choice is almost always to ask for success in academics.

God: (Your wish shall be granted.)
Goon: (Hmm? It feels like my mind is working faster.)


Shiori: Hey, what did you pray for?
Goon: It's, uh, it's a secret. What about you, Shiori?
Shiori: Mine's a secret too. Because... hey, should we go pull our fortunes?

Nice save, Shiori. The implication is that she doesn't want to say, because it's embarrassing to say out loud.


This year, I pulled 中吉/Chuukichi, or moderately good luck.


Goon: (Eh, I guess it's not bad.)
Shiori: Hey, how's it look?
Goon: Go ahead and see for yourself.
Shiori: Ooh, not bad. This might be the best result anyway.
Goon: What about yours, Shiori? Let me see!
Shiori: Well... okay, I don't mind.
Goon: Wow, you pulled Great Luck! No fair hogging all the luck.
Shiori: But, um, you know what they say, "moderation in all things".
Goon: You don't have to console me, I don't really care.
Goon: (I. Am. So. Jealous.)


Shiori: As the saying goes, "Make all of your plans on New Year's Day". It feels like this is going to be a good year.

This is a real Japanese saying - it basically means "Get things done early"

Goon: You... you think so? Anyway, should we get going?
Shiori: Yeah, let's head home.

1/2-1/4: Exercise

So... I hope you guys don't mind if I take a little break here, since I spent a fairly sizable chunk of my weekend reloading this game.

On the plus side, the hardest Christmas is over! Christmas of year 3 is mostly irrelevant, so this is the last time we'll be doing anything even close to this annoying. I'll probably post again on Christmas morning, since my family traditionally gets together on Christmas Eve, and then lazes around on Christmas morning until movies and dinner.

[Texaporte]

Chapter 15: Winter 1997, All downhill from here

The hardest part of the Utter Perfection run is over. We're about to enter year 3 with every pin exactly in place. Shiori is on top of the affection list, bomb schedules are spaced out in such a way that we'll never have two bombs at once, and our stats are almost to the point where we can win the game by doing nothing but sleeping and playing the trumpet for the rest of the game.

Let's take a look at our High School Superman in action!

1/2-1/4: Exercise
1/5 (Sunday): Preen
1/6-1/11: Concert Band
1/7: New event!

(ding dong!)
Goon: Hmm? Who could that be?


Yumi: Hi, Fudou-san.
Goon: Yumi-chan? What's up?
Yumi: There's a lot of snow piled up outside. Let's have a snowball fight!
Goon: Snowball fight?
Yumi: Hurry, hurry!
Goon: Agh, Yumi-chan, don't pull so hard!

Goon: Guh, it's so cold.
Goon: Whoa!


Yumi: Ahahahahaha! Got you! Got you!
Goon: You got me...
Yumi: Yumi's always been good at snowball fights.
Goon: I'm not bad myself. I won't lose to you!
Yumi: Yumi won't hold back either.
Goon: Alright, let's do this!


Goon: (I had a great time throwing snowballs with Yumi)


Yumi: That was a lot of fun. Let's do this again the next time it snows.
Goon: Yeah, sure.
Yumi: Bye-bye.

1/9: Event


Ayako: Hey, Fudou-kun.
Goon: Oh, Katagiri-san. What's up?
Ayako: Do you think you're free this coming Sunday?
Goon: Option 1: Yeah, I'm free. Why do you ask?
Ayako: If that's the case, want to go to the zoo with me?
Goon: Option 2: Nah, I'll pass.


Ayako: Is that so... that's unfortunate. Later...
Goon: (It looks like that hurt her. I probably should have been nicer...)

It's really useful to use these events as bomb gauges as well, and it looks like Ayako is closer than we thought. Well, also, it's really really bad to say yes, then no.

RELOAD COUNT: 108

1/6-1/11: Concert Band
1/6: Snowball fight with Yumi (see above)
1/8: Event!


Yuina: Gunpei-kun.
Goon: Himoo-san. What's up?
Yuina: You are free this upcoming Sunday, yes?
Goon: Option 1: Yeah, I'm free. Why do you ask?
Yuina: Then we are going to the museum.
Goon: Option 2: Nah, I'll pass.


Yuina: You have displeased me. Farewell.
Goon: (I'm the worst person for saying that...)


Bomb warning!

I just couldn't get the explore-and-reload out of my system, I guess. But this serves as a great illustration of how much of a tightrope is being walked with saying no all the time.

RELOAD COUNT: 109

1/6-1/11: Concert Band
1/10: Walk home with Yuina


It just seems like the safest thing to do.

1/12: Call Shiori


Goon: Want to go to the amusement park with me on 1/19?
Shiori: Let me check... yes, that's fine.
Goon: Alright, let's meet in front of the park on that day.
Shiori: Yes, let's. Don't forget, okay?
Goon: No way will I forget. Okay, talk to you later.
(click)
Goon: Yes! I can't wait for the 19th.

1/13-1/14: Sleep
1/15 (Holiday): Exercise
1/15-1/18: Sleep
1/16: Say no to Yumi
Yumi threat level: Yellow
1/17: Say no to Shiori
Shiori threat level: Green

1/19: Date with Shiori

Goon: (Today's my date with Shiori. I should go meet up with her in front of the amusement park.)


Goon: Were you waiting long?
Shiori: No, I just got here myself.
Goon: Phew, glad I wasn't late.
Shiori: Let's hurry up and get inside.
Goon: Yeah, let's go.

This time, Shiori's affection is high enough for a special event on the ferris wheel. Here we go:

Shiori: It doesn't seem very crowded, let's get in line.


Goon: Whoa, the ferris wheel stopped.
Shiori: Wait, really? What should we do?


Goon: It'll be fine, we'll be moving again soon.
Shiori: Okay, but... I'm still scared.
Goon: Hey, look on the bright side. It's like we get to spend extra time on the ride for the whole time it's stopped.
Shiori: Yeah, but...
Goon: what, do you not like being here with me?
Shiori: Of course not, because I...
Shiori: Oh, it's moving again.
Goon: Hahaha... that's good.
Goon: (Damn you, ferris wheel!)


Shiori: That was really scary.
Goon: Yeah, but more importantly, I want to hear the rest of what you were going to say.
Shiori: Oh, uh, I completely forgot. Don't worry about it.
Goon: You forgot? I wonder what it was... (Well, whatever.)


Shiori: Today was a lot of fun. Will you invite me out again some time?
Goon: Yeah, of course. I'll call you soon.
Shiori: Let's head home, Goon.

1/20-1/25: Concert Band
1/21: Say no to Yuina
Yuina threat level: Red
1/21: Bomb warning
1/25: Praised by Shiori for a perfect week
1/26: Call Yuina

Goon: Do you want to go to the amusement park with me on 2/2?
Yuina: Your luck has run out....
Yuina: ...for I appear to be free on that day.
Goon: Okay, let's meet in front of the park on the 2nd.
Yuina: You dare to give me orders?
Goon: Alright then, where would you like to meet?
Yuina: ...Your previous suggestion is acceptable.
Yuina: If your business is completed, then I am hanging up.
(click)
Goon: Woohoo! I can't wait for the 2nd.

1/27-2/1: Concert Band
1/31: Say no to Ayako
Ayako threat level: Green
2/2: Date with Yuina

Goon: (Today's my date with Himoo-san. I should go wait for her in front of the amusement park.)


Goon: Have you been waiting long?
Yuina: Not really. You're right on time.
Goon: I'm glad I wasn't late.
Yuina: We're going inside now.

Goon: (Hey, they're doing a hero show over there.)
Goon: Option 1: Invite Himoo-san to see the show
Goon: Himoo-san, want to go see the hero show?
Himo: I do not. At all.

Option 1: It'll be fine, let's go!
Option 2: Okay, never mind.

Yep. Just for the laughs, it's time to choose 1.

Yuina: I suppose I have no choice.


Yuina: As boring as I suspected. I am leaving.
Goon: But the show's just starting.
Yuina: Wait. I just remembered something I have to do.
Goon: Where did she run off to...?


Yuina: Sorry to keep you waiting. We are leaving.
Man: Oh no! The heroes just passed out!
Goon: There seems to be something going on backstage...
Yuina: It has nothing to do with us. Let us leave quickly.
Goon: (Himoo-san, what were you doing?)


Yuina: Well, I suppose a holiday without research is fine every now and then.
Goon: That's good to hear.
Yuina: Anyway, we should head home soon, Gunpei-kun.

Himoo Yuina, ladies and gentlemen.

2/3-2/8: Sleep
2/9: Read Memorial Spot, then Preen


Memorial Spot March/April/May
Karaoke box open!
Movie: Speed/King (Action) [/i](Speed, with Keanu Reeves and Sandra Bullock.)[/i]
Concert: SNACK (Idol) (Venerable boy band SMAP)
Stadium: March - Pro Wrestling
April - Baseball
May - Baseball
Event: The cherry blossoms are in bloom in Central Park
The Scream Machine at the amusement park is open
Sculpture exhibit at the museum

Goon: (Karaoke, eh?)

If you've never been to one before, Japanese karaoke boxes are pretty nifty. Unlike karaoke bars, which have an open microphone and a screen on a public stage, Japanese karaoke boxes are filled with private rooms, which come with couches, a TV, and a couple of microphones. They'll often serve drinks and snacks, but the main thing is that you rent rooms by the hour and sing with your friends in a soundproof(ish) environment.

Random note: Because table space is so precious in Japan and very few people living in the city have even enough space for a table and chairs, it's fairly common for tabletop RPG players to rent karaoke rooms for a few hours and use that space to roll dice. It's a pretty fascinating lifehack.

2/10: Concert Band
2/11 (Holiday): Hang out with Yoshio
2/12-2/15: Concert Band
2/14: Valentine's Day!


Rei: Hello, and good morning.
Goon: What is it this time, Ijuuin?
Rei: Today is Valentine's Day, is it not? It's the same thing every year, but I must say that I am completely at a loss.
Goon: Is that so? Good for you.
Rei: Gaze upon it with your own eyes. It's just the same this year...


Goon: ......
Rei: I will have quite the problem getting rid of it all. Could you take half of it off of my hands for me?
Goon: I don't need it.
Rei: If you want any, just say the word any time. And with that, I bid you farewell.
Rei: HAAAAAA hahahahaha!
Goon: Give it a rest already...


Ayako: Oh, Fudou-kun. Here, I got you something.
Goon: Chocolate? Th, thank you.
Ayako: It... it's giri chocolate. Giri. But a little bit of it isn't giri.
Goon: I have no idea what you're trying to say.
Ayako: Um, bye!
Goon: I wonder why she was acting so flustered...

Refer to Chapter 8 for the explanation of the difference between Giri chocolate and Honmei chocolate, and why Ayako is so nervous about differentiating between the two.


Yumi: Oh, Fudou-san. Here, have some chocolate.
Goon: Thanks, Yumi-chan.
Yumi: You can accept any chocolates you get today, but please don't eat any other than this one, okay?
Goon: Huh? Uh, sure.
Yumi: Really? Cross your heart! Okay, bye!
Goon: (Did I just make a really dumb promise?)

Probably. Speaking of which:

REE REE REE REE REE REE

Megumi: Um, um, uh, here... please... accept this.
Goon: Gladly! Thanks. Mikihara-san?
Megumi: I'm so embarrassed...
(running footsteps)
Goon: Her face was all red, she must've been really embarrassed to do that.


Yuina: Ah, Gunpei-kun. I made these while I was running an experiment, so you can have them.
Goon: Hey, thanks.
Yuina: I think it should be fine, but if your extremities go numb, let me know immediately.
Goon: Why's that?
Yuina: I put a little bit of something special into this.
Goon: I'm glad for the thought, but...
Yuina: Now, if you will excuse me.
Goon: (What's in this stuff?)

Himoo Yuina, ladies and gentlemen.


Shiori: Hey, Goon. This might not look like much, but...
Goon: Th, thanks! I'm so happy you did this.
Shiori: I was so embarrassed that I couldn't give this to you at school...
Goon: Why not?
Shiori: Because... I put something special into this chocolate...
Goon: Wait, you mean...
Shiori: O, okay, see you later!
Goon: A lot of her feelings, eh...?

Goon: (I got a pretty good amount of chocolate this year. Seems like I'm pretty popular.)

As I mentioned before, Goon is probably the second-biggest BMOC behind Rei at Kirameki High School. He is lacking the fabulous wealth, but in pretty much every other aspect he's doing really well. Top grades, and at the next sports festival, we'll see just how athletic he's become .

2/16 (Sunday): Preen
2/17-2/22: Concert Band
2/22: Say no to Yumi
Yumi threat level: Red
2/22: Bomb warning!
2/23 (Sunday): Call Yumi

Goon: Want to go to the movies on 3/2?
Yumi: Yeah, sure.
Goon: Alright, let's meet in front of the theater on that day.
Yumi: Got it. Cross your heart, hope to die, stick a needle in your eye!
Goon: Hahaha... cross my heart. Say hi to Yoshio for me!
(click)
Goon: Woohoo! I can't wait for the 2nd.

2/24-2/29: Concert Band
2/25: Say no to Shiori
Shiori threat level: Green
2/28: Say no to Yuina
Yuina threat level: Green
3/2 (Sunday): Date with Yumi

Goon: (Today's my date with Yumi. I should go meet her in front of the theater.)


Goon: Were you waiting long?
Yumi: Uh-uh, Yumi just got here too.
Goon: Glad I wasn't late.
Yumi: The movie's about to start, let's hurry.
Goon: Yeah, we should get seats.

Yumi: It's open over there.


Goon: (Speed/King is an action movie packed with thrills.)


Goon: Wasn't that movie awesome?
Yumi: Yeah! Yumi had a lot of fun!
Goon: (Looks like I made a great impression!)
Yumi: This was a ton of fun. Please invite Yumi out again some time!
Goon: Sure, I'll call you some time.
Yumi: Fudou-san, can we go home together?
Goon: Let's go.

3/3-3/8: Finals


Goon: (Yes! I'm the top score! I'm the Emperor of Tests!)

3/9 (Sunday): Call Ayako


Ayako: Hi~, this is Katagiri.
Goon: Hi, my name is Fudou Gunpei...
Ayako: Huh? Fudou-kun? Di, did you want to talk to me?
Goon: Do you want to go to the karaoke box with me on 3/21?
Ayako: Wait a second... OK, that's fine.
Goon: Okay, then let's meet in front of the karaoke box on that day.
Ayako: Wakatta wa, oh I see. Okay, talk to you later.
(click)
Goon: Alright, I can't wait for the 21st!

3/10-3/15: Sleep
3/13: Say no to Yuina
Yuina threat level: Green
3/14: White Day


Rei: Hello and good morning.
Goon: What is it this time, Ijuuin?
Rei: I was just wondering if you've brought your proper thanks for Valentine's Day.
Goon: Of course I did.
Rei: Reeeeally? Haha, do your best.
Goon: ...

Goon: (Okay, I should calm down and go hand out my thank-yous for Valentine's Day.)
Goon: (Actually, I did splurge on one special gift.)
Goon: So, who should I give this special little thank-you?

Shiori, of course!

Goon: Hey, it's Shiori, just the person I was looking for.
Goon: Hey, Shiori!


Shiori: Goon, what's going on?
Goon: Here, I want you to have this. As thanks for Valentine's Day.
Shiori: What? Oh, thank you, I'm so glad...
Goon: I'm glad you like it.
Shiori: Because I... uh, I need to get back to the classroom.
Goon: (She seemed really flustered. But I'm glad I gave it to her.)

3/16 (Sunday): Exercise

At this point, I saved because there was something I want to show everyone... and it requires standing up Ayako on the upcoming date, which is normally an awful awful idea.

3/17-3/20: Preen
3/20: Event!


Goon: (It started raining out of nowhere. I'm glad I brought my umbrella.)

REE REE REE REE REE REE

Goon: Hey, that's Mikihara-san over there)
Goon: Is something wrong, Mikihara-san?
Megumi: Um, um, this sudden rain...
Goon: You didn't bring an umbrella?
Megumi: Y, yeah...
Goon: If it's okay with you, we can share mine.
Megumi: What? Ohhh, what should I do...
Goon: It'll be fine. Unless you don't like being next to me?
Megumi: N, no, that's not it at all! Because...
Goon: Then it's fine, let's go home. It doesn't look like the rain will stop soon.
Megumi: O, okay. Then let's...
Goon: Good, let's go.


Megumi: ......
Goon: (Mikihara-san sure is a quiet person...)
Megumi: ......
Goon: Mikihara-san, do you think I'm boring to hang out with?
Megumi: N, no, not at all!
Goon: Then why won't you say anything?
Megumi: That's because, um... uh... I get so nervous...
Goon: Y, yeah?
Goon: (She's nervous... that's pretty cute.)

3/21 (Holiday): Skip a date with Ayako by sleeping

Just like in real life, standing up someone on a date is a huge mistake. As I mentioned, it's a huge bomb threat in-game, and the girl will call your answering machine and leave an angry message. Ayako's specifically stands out for Western audiences because, well... you have to hear it for yourself.

[video type="youtube"]nVinxZqPe3Y[/video]


Ayako: Breaking promises is the lowest, most despicable thing. Jigoku ni ochiro!
Goon: (Crap! I promised Ayako I'd go out with her today.)
Goon: (I am the most evil man in the Three Kingdoms!)

Random note: I asked my friends if this means that Goon is comparing himself to Cao Cao, the ruthless tyrant of the Romance of the Three Kingdoms. They said that the joke is that there is no single worst person in the Three Kingdoms period, so Goon is calling himself worse than both Cao Cao and Dong Zhuo. Today's Confucian parable is: don't break your dates, people!

RELOAD COUNT: 110

3/17-3/20: Preen
3/19: Say no to Yumi
Yumi threat level: Green
3/20: Say no to Megumi
Megumi threat level: Yellow
3/21 (Holiday): Actually go on the date with Ayako this time

Goon: It doesn't look like Katagiri-san is here yet.
Goon: I'll wait for her a little longer.


Ayako: Gomen nasai, sorry! I got delayed a little.
Goon: I just got here too, don't worry about it.
Ayako: It's so warm here, I feel a little sleepy.
Goon: It's true, it's about to be nap season.
Ayako: Okay, let's head in.
Goon: Yeah, let's go inside.


Goon: Okay, it's your turn, Katagiri-san.
Ayako: I'm too embarrassed, I'll pass.
Goon: What's wrong? It's not like you to get embarrassed.
Ayako: How rude. I am a naive girl. That's why I won't sing.
Goon: Yeah, yeah... but I really wish I could hear your beautiful voice...
Ayako: Is that so? I wonder if I should...
Goon: I bet you sing like an angel.
Ayako: Well now I have to, don't I?
Goon: Yay, you're going to sing!
Goon: (But I can't stop smiling)


Goon: (She is ridiculously good.)
Game: 1 hour later...

If anyone wants to fix that little hitch at the end and make a proper loop, please do!


Ayako: Alright, I'm on a roll. Next up...
Goon: (She's been singing this whole time, what happened to "I am a naive girl"?)


Ayako: Tottemo tanoshikatta wa. That was so fun! We should do this again.
Goon: Yeah, we should. I'll call you again some time.
Ayako: Let's head home, Fudou-kun.

3/22: Preen
3/23 (Sunday): Exercise
3/24-3/29 (Spring break): Concert Band

Okay, I need to head to my family Christmas dinner, so I'll continue this tomorrow. Coming up next time: Shiori's birthday, and Proof of Perfection. See you soon, and don't forget to vote in the poll on which game you want me to LP next.

Merry Christmas! Here's an Ayako Christmas wreath from 1998:

[timg]http://auction.thumbnail.image.rakuten. ... 057235.jpg[/timg]

[Texaporte]

Chapter 16: Spring 1997 - My name is Goonzymandias, Teen of Teens

It was a long and tough road. But when I said everything from here is downhill, I meant it. We have been careful. We have been . And we have been patient. But it is no longer the time for care and patience. It is time... for perfection. We begin with the long-awaited Double Birthday event.

3/30 (Sunday): Legendary Double Birthday Event!

This event takes precedence over everything. No choices are allowed to be made, Shiori just calls you.


Goon: Hmm? Who could be calling?
Goon: Yes, this is the Fudou residence.
Shiori: Umm, my name is Fujisaki...

I know that people are expected to be timid in Japanese culture, but come on. You can act a little familiar with someone you've known for years and can see you calling from his bedroom window. Even Taylor Swift holding up a poster board is less passive than this! GOD

Goon: Oh, Shiori? What's up?
Shiori: Oh, hi Goon. Hey, are you busy right now?

Thank you. I guess she was just going through the motions in case Goon's parents picked up, but... geeeeez.

Goon: Hmm? No, I'm not...
Shiori: Really? Then do you want to celebrate our birthdays together?
Goon: Sure, that's fine.
Shiori: Good... I have some cake ready. Do you... want to come to my room?
Goon: Yeah, I'll be there in a sec.

Remember, folks, this game is for all ages. All ages!

Goon: Shiori, I'm here.
Shiori: Come on in.


Shiori: Happy birthday, Goon.
Goon: Ha...happy birthday to you too, Shiori.
Goon: (How many years has it been since I was in Shiori's room?)
Shiori: Is something bothering you?
Goon: N, no... oh, Shiori, here's your birthday present.
Shiori: And this is from me to you.
Goon: Thank you. I'll treasure it.
Shiori: Remember when we used to do this every year for our birthday?
Shiori: Our birthday's the same, so we treated each other like we were twins...
Goon: Yeah, we did.
Shiori: Oh, I just remembered something.


Shiori: Do you know what this is?
Goon: (It looks like a toy ring...)
Shiori: It's the present you gave me, ten years ago.
Goon: Ten years ago?
Shiori: It's so small it doesn't fit my finger anymore.
Shiori: ...but I still treasure it.
Goon: Y...yeah?
Shiori: Do you remember what you said back then?
Goon: Hmm? I said something?


Shiori: Have you forgotten everything? Even how we felt back then...?
Goon: What?
Shiori: No, it's nothing. Never mind.


Shiori: Thanks for everything today... it was a wonderful birthday.
Goon: Well, talk to you later.
Shiori: Good night.

3/31-4/5: Exercise
4/4: New school year starts

In Japan, the third year of high school is a huge turning point of a young person's life. A lot of high school students quit their clubs in order to focus on their entrance exams, since they have ssuch a huge impact on future job prospects. In Tokimeki Memorial, though, it's more about figuring out if you're in line for a certain ending...


Goon: Starting today, I'm a senior. Just a year until graduation...
Goon: In order to be Shiori's ideal man...
Goon: I have to keep working on my spirit.
Goon: But, it looks like I can get along with Mikihara-san just fine.
Goon: In any case, I have to work hard.

This is the game's way of telling us that we need to work on our Guts stat in order to get the Shiori ending, but Megumi is already good to go (hi ho Silver Medal, away!). For reference, here are Goon's stats going into year 3:

[fixed]Stamina: 57 | Lit 148 | Science 155
Art 266 | Sports 254 | General Knowledge 123
Looks 119 | Guts 100 | Stress 8[/fixed]

All of the stats well above the right range, except for Guts, which is liable to drop below Shiori's standards if we let it slip even a little bit. Remember, if you miss by one point, she will not accept you. Nintendo Hard demands nothing less than perfection!

Goon: Oh yeah, I have guidance counseling today. I should go to the faculty room.
Goon: (What should I do after high school?)


Option 1: I want to continue my education.
Option 2: I want to work.
Option 3: Check what other people are doing after high school.

In order to get the best epilogue, most people choose this point to follow their girl into the next step of their lives. Other people say "fuggit, I'm doing my own thing" and follow whatever dream they have, which includes professional athlete (basketball players get to go to America!), musician, artist, author, etc. In any case, Shiori's demand for Perfection means that the only real choice is to go to the best university in the country. So...


Goon: I want to go to college.
Goon: (I told my counselor about my plan for the future.)
Teacher: With your grades, you can make it into all the top universities!
Goon: I see.

Perfect.

4/6 (Sunday): Concert Band
4/7-4/12: Sleep
4/13 (Sunday): Preen
4/14-4/19: Concert Band
4/19: Run into Miharu (see Chapter 5 to see what this event looks like.)

This is the first time we're running into Miharu and not reloading. You'll see some of her events, but as you can see, seeing everything and getting the Miharu ending is 100% based on RNG. It's one of the reasons I didn't choose a Miharu run, and also one of the reasons I reloaded as soon as I saw her in year one - she has a chance of overriding all of the work on a Shiori run, so we had to dodge that like it was The Matrix.

4/20 (Sunday): Call Shiori

Goon: Want to go to Kirameki Central Park on 4/27?
Shiori: Let me check... I'm sorry, I'm busy that day. I wish I could go, but...
Goon: D, don't worry about it. I don't mind.
Shiori: We'll try and make it work next time, okay?

You know what? I don't even need to reload. That's how far ahead of schedule we are. Plus, Golden Week is coming up, with all of its holidays. Plenty of time to take Shiori to see the cherry blossoms.

4/21-4/26: Sleep
4/22: Walk home with Shiori
4/27 (Sunday): Call Shiori again

Goon: Want to go to Kirameki Central Park on 4/29?
Shiori: Let me check... yes, that's fine.
Goon: Alright, let's meet in front of the park on that day.
Shiori: Yes, let's. Don't forget, okay?
Goon: No way will I forget. Okay, talk to you later.
(click)
Goon: Yes! I can't wait for the 29th.

Perfect.

4/28: Concert Band
4/29 (Golden Week): Date with Shiori

Goon: (Today's my date with Shiori. I should go meet up with her in front of the park.)


Goon: Were you waiting long?
Shiori: No, I just got here myself.
Goon: Phew, glad I wasn't late.
Shiori: The cherry blossoms are already in bloom...
Goon: Yeah, let's go see the flowers.
Shiori: Yes, let's.

Please ignore the fact that by now, most real cherry blossoms have finished blooming - it's only a two-week window, folks!


Shiori: They're in full bloom already. But they'll wither soon...

Option 1: That's what makes them beautiful.
Option 2: That's the way of nature.
Option 3: It'll litter all over the avenue...

None of these are really great options, but let's go with 1. Honestly, very few of the Hanami options are very good with any girl, but hey, it's pretty.

Shiori: That's true, but it's kind of sad...
Goon: (Eh.)


Shiori: Today was fun. Can we do this again soon?
Goon: Yeah, I'll call you.
Shiori: Let's go home, Gunpei-kun.

4/30-5/2: Concert Band
5/3 (Golden week): Read Memorial Spot, then Preen


Memorial Spot June-July-August
This issue, we have no new date spots to show you
Movie: BANPO (horror) (No, it's not Rambo, it's a Japanese movie called Rampo)
Concert: KNM Symphony Orchestra (classical)
Stadium: June - Pro Wrestling
July - Baseball
August - Baseball
Events: In August, the amusement park will be holding night parades!
August 3rd is Ennichi at the shrine!

Goon: (If I look at this magazine and enter the Konami Code... up up down down left right left fight X Circle...)

It doesn't actually do anything. As I mentioned, the Konami Code works in two places: one requires joining the computer club, the other is at the karaoke box when you're not having an Ayako event.

5/4 (Sunday): Preen
5/5 (Golden Week): Concert Band
5/6-5/10: Concert Band
5/6: Say no to Ayako
Ayako threat level: Green
5/7: Go home with Shiori
5/11 (Sunday): Exercise
5/12-5/17: Concert Band
5/16: Say no to Megumi
Megumi threat level: Orange
5/18 (Sunday): Sleep
5/19-5/24: Concert Band
5/21: Invitation from Ayako


Ayako: Oh, Fudou-kun.
Goon: Katagiri-san? What's up?
Ayako: Hey, are you free this Sunday?
Goon: Option 1: I'm free, what's up?
Ayako: Since you're free, want to go to the art gallery at the museum with me?

This is actually pretty fortuitous. Sure, let's do it!

Goon: Option 1: That's fine. Let's go.
Ayako: Hontou ni? Really? Then where should we meet?
Goon: Is it okay just to meet in front of the museum?
Ayako: Sore de ii wa. Okay.
Goon: (This Sunday, right? I have to make sure I don't forget.)

5/21: Bomb warning!

And that's the danger of actually saying yes...


5/25 (Sunday): Date with Ayako

Goon: (Today's my date with Ayako. I should go meet up with her in front of the museum.)


Goon: Were you waiting long?
Ayako: No. Watashi mo ima kita tokoro na no. Good timing.
Goon: Phew, glad I wasn't late.
Ayako: Let's go inside.
Goon: Good idea.


Ayako: Hey hey, don't you think this bronze statue just leaps out at you? Isn't it magnificent?

Option 1: Isn't it just a replica?
Option 2: Yeah, it's a splendid piece.
Option 3: I like the one next to it better.

Smile and nod, Goon. Smile and nod.

Ayako: I know, right?
Goon: (Looks like I made a great impression!)


Ayako: Arigatou. Thank you for coming with me today!
Goon: If you don't mind me tagging along, I'll come any time.
Ayako: Okay. Let's go home, Fudou-kun.

5/26-5/31: Sleep
5/29: Say no to Yuina
Yuina threat level: Orange

6/1 (Sunday): Call Megumi

Goon: Want to go to the planetarium with me on 6/8?
Megumi: What? Y, yes... gladly...
Goon: Alright, let's meet in front of the planetarium on that day.
Megumi: ......
Goon: What's that? I couldn't hear you.
Megumi: Y...yes, we'll meet there!
Goon: Okay, don't forget.
(click)
Goon: Goon: Yes! I can't wait for the 8th.

A piece of advice: whenever there's a bomb threat, always try to clear it as soon as possible. The date itself is what clears the bomb. It's not the call. Girls are also more likely to accept if you know where they like to go, which is usually a function of calling Yoshio or inviting them to chat at the local park.

6/2-6/6: Concert Band
6/7: Sports Festival!


Goon: Today's the Sports Festival. What event should I participate in?

Option 1: Egg-and-spoon race
Option 2: Scavenger Hunt race
Option 3: Three-legged race
Option 4: Ball-rolling race

I saw a comment earlier about coming back to the Scavenger Hunt race and getting revenge for freshman year... so here it comes! Scavenger Hunt Race, Part 2: Perfection Edition!


A better start than last time for sure...


Why. Why, Megumi. Why did it have to be you.


Well, whatever. It's easy to spot her helmeted noggin in that crowd.


I am Goonzymandias, Student of Students! Look at my Sports stat, ye mighty, and despair!


Perfect.


Goon: Okay, time for the folk dance. Let's do this right!
Goon: Alright, I'm dancing with Shiori next.


Shiori: Oh... I get to dance with you...?

Goon: And I'm dancing with Himoo-san next.


Yuina: It is a rare thing indeed to be able to lay hands on me.

Goon: And next, I'm dancing with Yumi-chan.

YUS. Dodged Megumi. Excellent.


Yumi: Fudou-san, Yumi wanted to dance with you, so Yumi joined this dance circle.

Good work, Yumi, way to cockblock the other bomber while delaying your own bomb. Thumbs up.

Goon: The folk dance wasn't that bad.

6/8 (Sunday): REE REE REE REE REE REE

Goon: (Today's my date with Mikihara-san. I should go meet her in front of the planetarium.)


Goon: Were you waiting long?
Megumi: N...No...
Goon: Phew, glad I wasn't late.
Goon: So, shall we?
Megumi: Y, yes...


Megumi: Wow, it's beautiful...
Goon: Let's sit down, Mikihara-san.
Megumi: O, okay...
Megumi: The stars sure are mysterious...

Option 1: Yeah, I think so too.
Option 2: They're just some lights.
Option 3: We're watching them sparkle from billions of years ago...

Agreeing with her shouldn't hurt. Let's go with 1!

Megumi: I can just get lost in them...
Goon: (Eh.)

Perfect.


Goon: Did you have fun?
Megumi: Um, um, yes... I had fun.
Goon: Can we do this again some time?
Megumi: Y, yes...
Goon: Cool, I'll call you soon.
Megumi: Fudou-kun... um... could we...
Goon: Walk home together?
Megumi: Y, yes...

6/9-6/14: Concert Band
6/12: Say no to Yuina
Yuina threat level: Red
6/12: Bomb warning!

Good thing we cleared Megumi's bomb ASAP, right?

6/14: Praised by Shiori for a perfect week
6/15 (Sunday): Call Yuina

Goon: Want to go to the planetarium with me on 6/22?
Yuina: Your luck has run out....
Yuina: ...for I appear to be free on that day.

You know, I almost fell for it again here. I guess my reset finger was itching.

Goon: Okay, let's meet in front of the park on the 22nd.
Yuina: You dare to give me orders?
Goon: Alright then, where would you like to meet?
Yuina: ...Your previous suggestion is acceptable.
Yuina: If your business is completed, then I am hanging up.
(click)
Goon: Woohoo! I can't wait for the 22nd.

Remember, clean up bombs as quickly as you possibly can. It'll make clearing any potential bombs easier, though Yumi's probably on track to be the next bomb and that was delayed a bit by the folk dance after the sports festival.

6/16-6/21: Concert Band
6/22: Date with Yuina

Goon: (Today's my date with Himoo-san. I should go wait for her in front of the planetarium.)


Goon: Have you been waiting long?
Yuina: Not really. You're right on time.
Goon: I'm glad I wasn't late.
Yuina: We are going inside now.
Goon: Okay.


Yuina: Find a seat quickly.
Yuina: Sooner or later, these stars too will be mine...

Option 1: What kind of stupid line is that?
Option 2: Sigh... is that so.
Option 3: W... wouldn't that be nice?

Himoo Yuina, ladies and gentlemen. We're choosing 3. Just smile and nod.

Yuina: It will definitely be nice when it happens. Ah, I cannot wait.
Goon: (Looks like I made a great impression!)


Yuina: Ah, it is nice to be able to take a breather every once in a while.
Goon: Can we do this again some time?
Yuina: If I have an opening in my schedule.
Goon: Then I'll call you soon.
Yuina: Well, we should go home, Gunpei-kun.

This is a different conversation than usual, marking Yuina's graduation into higher affection levels. But it doesn't matter anymore! We are an avalanche of Perfect that no one can stop! Not even Megumi!

6/23-6/28: Sleep
6/27: Invitation from Shiori


Shiori: If you're free, want to go to the aquarium together?
Goon: Option 1: That's fine. Let's go.
Shiori: Really? Then, um...
Goon: Want to meet in front of the aquarium?
Shiori: Yes, that's great. Don't forget, okay?
Goon: (This coming Sunday, eh? I have to make sure I don't forget.)

6/29 (Sunday): Date with Shiori

Goon: (Today's my date with Shiori. I should go wait for her in front of the aquarium.)


Goon: Were you waiting long?
Shiori: No, I just got here myself...
Shiori: Let's hurry inside.


Shiori: There are a lot of pretty fish here...

Option 1: Yeah, they really are pretty.
Option 2: Yeah, they look delicious.
Option 3: It's like underwater art.

As much as I'd love to eat some fish, let's just go with option 1.

Shiori: There are other beautiful fish over there, too.
Goon: (Looks like I made a pretty good impression.)


Shiori: Thanks a lot for coming with me today.
Goon: If you don't mind me tagging along, I'll come any time.
Shiori: Let's walk home together, Goon.

Summer is about to start, but true perfection is going quite well. The mask is off, and we are showing everyone what we're capable of - first was sports. Soon, academics will fall before us, and shortly afterward the world of music will be ours. We will be the greatest of men... drink it in, ladies. Drink it in.

[Texaporte]

Chapter 17: Summer 1997, The Mark of Goon's Dignity Shall Scar Thy DNA

Grades: Top.
Looks: Good.
Affection: High.
Trumpet: Polished.
Bombs: Clear.

Condition: Perfect.

6/30-7/5: Concert Band
7/4: Say no to Yumi
Yumi bomb level: Yellow
7/5: Praised by Shiori for a perfect week
7/6 (Sunday): Preen
7/7-7/12: Concert Band
7/7: Yuina's Birthday

Goon: (Oh yeah, today's Himoo-san's birthday. Should I get her a present?)
Goon: Option 1: Give her a present
Goon: (What should I get her?)

Best option: R20000 chip
Good option: Lab coat
Worst option: Barrel

Yes. Yes, you can get her a barrel. Who DOES that? Anyway, the lab coat is the closest to neutral while still clearing bomb status, so it's time to give her that.


Goon: Hey, Himoo-san!
Yuina: Wh, what do you want?
Goon: Today's your birthday, isn't it? I got you a present.

Translator's note: This is the second time all game that Yuina has stuttered.


Yuina: This is proper etiquette in the face of your fu, future ruler.
Yuina: May I open it?
Goon: Yeah, open it. Do you like it?

Translator's note: Third time she's stuttered, and the first time she's asked a question like a normal person. She's rattled!

Yuina: This could be a bit useful...
Goon: (She seemed happy enough with it. Not bad, I guess.)

7/9: Say no to Yuina asking us out on Sunday


Yuina: You have displeased me. Farewell.
Yuina threat level: green

7/10: Say no to Yumi
Yumi threat level: Orange
7/12: Praised by Shiori for a perfect week
7/13 (Sunday): Preen
7/14-7/19: Midterms


Hail to the king, baby.

7/19: Praised for a perfect week by... Megumi?

REE REE REE REE REE REE

Megumi: Um, uh... never mind...
Goon: I wonder what Mikihara-san wanted?

She waited in front of our house, tried to say something, and ran away. Time to check for suspicious packages...

7/20 (Sunday): Call Shiori

Goon: Want to go to the pool with me on 8/17?
Shiori: Let me check... yes, that's fine.
Goon: Alright, let's meet in front of the pool on that day.
Shiori: Yes, let's. Don't forget, okay?
Goon: No way will I forget. Okay, talk to you later.
(click)
Goon: Yes! I can't wait for the 17th.

7/21 (Holiday): Preen
7/22-7/26: Sleep
7/22: New event!


Goon: (Ugh, having to do cleanup duty for PE class sucks. Hmm? It feels like someone's back here...)


Ayako: Uh...
Goon: Katagiri-san? What're you doing here?
Ayako: Huh? Well, um, uh, you know...
Goon: From the looks of it, you're supposed to be swimming right now. So you're cutting class.
Ayako: Sonna koto nai wa yo. No, no. I'm just tired, and taking a break.
Goon: If you really are tired, you don't have to take your break behind the gym.
Ayako: Well, you know, with the destruction of the ozone layer, direct sunlight is bad for you...
Goon: Reeeeeally. When did you suddenly become so sickly?
Ayako: Um, uh... just recently.
Goon: Oh yeah, I think I heard the teacher calling for you, Katagiri-san.


Ayako: What? No way! Abunai wa yo~
Goon: Just kidding. But getting scared like that gives away that you're cutting class.
Ayako: Uh... please. Don't say anything to the teacher.
Goon: Hmm... what should I do...?
Teacher: What the hell is taking so long, Fudou? Hurry up and bring those balls over here!
Yoshio: Gunpei, what're you doing? We need those balls!
Ayako: H, hey, they're calling for you.
Goon: Damn... I won't say anything to the teacher. You owe me, though.
Ayako: Arigatou. Thank you. I'm so grateful!

Ayako. Kind of a special girl.

7/23: Say no to Megumi
Megumi threat level: Green
7/26: Event!


Goon: (Hmm? There's a message on the machine.)
Tome-san: Yo, it's me! Tome!
Tome-san: In this year's fireworks show, come out and watch my "Wild Dance of the Rising Dragon"!
Goon: What the hell kind of message is that?

I don't know who this guy is and why he called, but he sure has an interesting way of naming his fireworks shows! He's a convenient reminder that Ennichi is coming up too, so we might as well invite Shiori. She never says no to Ennichi.

7/27: Call Shiori

Goon: Want to go to the shrine with me on 8/3?
Shiori: Let me check... yes, that's fine.
Goon: Alright, let's meet in front of the shrine on that day.
Shiori: Yes, let's. Don't forget, okay?
Goon: No way will I forget. Okay, talk to you later.
(click)
Goon: Yes! I can't wait for the 3rd.

7/28-8/2: Hang out with Yoshio
8/3 (Sunday): Date with Shiori

Goon: (Today's my date with Shiori. I should go wait for her in front of the shrine.)


Goon: Were you waiting long?
Shiori: No, I just got here myself.
Goon: Phew, glad I wasn't late.
Shiori: It's so lively here!

Option 1: Praise her yukata
Option 2: Eh, no need to praise her yukata

Goon: That yukata really suits you. You look cute!
Shiori: Th, thanks. I'm happy to hear it.

Just don't mention that it's the same one as last year and we'll be fine, Goon. Praise her and move on.

Goon: This year, they're doing a fireworks show. Want to watch it?
Shiori: Yeah, lead the way.




Shiori: Isn't it beautiful?

Option 1: Yeah, it is.
Option 2: It's called the "Wild Dance of the Rising Dragon".
Option 3: I like sparklers better.

Probably safest just to agree with her.

Shiori: Yeah, you can just get lost in it...
Goon: (Looks like I made a pretty good impression.)


Shiori: Today was a lot of fun. Can we do this again soon?
Goon: Yeah, I'll call you.
Shiori: Good. Let's go home together, Goon.

8/4-8/9: Study lit
8/10: Preen
8/11-8/16: Summer Camp (AKA Concert Band)
8/12: Event!


Shiori: Goon, you played really well yesterday.
Goon: You think so? I've just started getting confident.
Shiori: You're good enough to handle solos now, aren't you?
Goon: I guess, but I'm still nervous about it...
Shiori: If we work hard, I wonder if we can go to Nationals...
Goon: I don't think we can make it in our current state.
Shiori: Then we'll just have to make sure we get better.
Goon: Yeah, let's aim for the top.

8/16: Event!

Goon: (It somehow feels like... there's power flowing through my body.)


Goon: (Whooooooooooooooa!)
Game: Mastered the Concert Band Ultimate Technique: "The Pied Piper of Hamelin".

Alright! We learned our Limit Break! ...Now what?

8/17 (Sunday): Date with Shiori, with Event!


(usual pleasantries)


Goon: Huh? I don't see Shiori anywhere.
Goon: (Where'd she go?)
Shiori: Goon! EEEEEEEEEEK!
Goon: That's Shiori's voice! Where...


Goon: !!!!


Shiori: Whee, that was fun!
Goon: I couldn't find so, so I was wondering where you went.
Shiori: Sorry, I just wanted to surprise you a little bit.
Goon: Well, it worked.
Shiori: Hahahahahaha...
Goon: Wh, what's so funny?
Shiori: I just remembered the face you made... hahahahaha.
Goon: Di, did I really look that funny?
Shiori: S, sorry for laughing like that.
Goon: I don't really mind...
Shiori: Okay, let's swim.

(usual pleasantries)

8/18-8/23: Sleep
8/24 (Sunday): Call Yoshio with the intent of reloading


Perfect.


Note that Yoshio's profiles actually change every year, so if you want to keep all of the information handy, you have to ask him three times. The girls' measurements change, and so do the notes. In this case, Yuina's notes now say:

Notes: Kirameki High School's XXXXX scientist. Listens to classical music to make her smarter.

RELOAD COUNT: 111

8/18-8/23: Sleep
8/20: Amusement park event with Yoshio

For more information about the details of the summer amusement park event with Yoshio and two girls, refer to Chapter 11. This year, he brings:


Shiori: H, hi, Goon.


Ayako: H, hi, Fudou-kun.

For lowest impact on the game state, it's best to do a 2-1 Shiori-Ayako split here. So...


Shiori: Let's ride.


Shiori: It looks a little scary, but... I should be fine.


Ayako: Saa, hairimashou. Come on, let's go!

And so the day ends with the least impact on future bombing runs.


Shiori: Goon, today was a lot of fun. Bye!


Ayako: Fudou-kun, today was a lot of fun. Sayounara, goodbye!

8/24 (Sunday): Read Memorial Spot, then preen


Memorial Spot September-October-November
We have no new spots to introduce this edition.
Movie: O-men (Comedy) (no, not The Omen, this is Japanese for a mask - meaning that this movie is Jim Carrey's The Mask)
Concert: prf (New Music) (Japanese pop group trf)
Stadium: September - baseball
October - baseball
November - pro wrestling
Events: The museum has a Gergi art exhibit.

Goon: (Hmmm... Gergi exhibit, eh?)

8/25-8/30: Concert Band
8/31 (Sunday): Concert Band

And with that, summer of year 3 ends. Just one or two events left to go, before everything is... Perfect

[Texaporte]

Chapter 18: Fall 1997, What is a Goon? A Miserable Pile of Perfection!

Just a few months to go, and as I mentioned, there is very little left to take care of. There's actually a difficulty difference between the Saturn version and the PlayStation versions here - in the PlayStation version, bombs will not explode after March 1st, 1998. The Saturn version allows it, which is usually not a problem but can be significant for people who've spread themselves too thin.

9/1-9/6: Concert Band
9/3: Say no to Yumi
Yumi threat level: Red
9/3: Bomb warning!

9/5: Megumi's birthday

Once again, it's time to give the most neutral present possible.

Best option: Bunny gloves
Good option: Plush sumo wrestler
Bad option: Sea cucumber

Man, when they came up with bad presents, they really outdid themselves. I don't even know what kind of thought process leads to giving a girl a sea cucumber for her birthday.

Goon: Hey, Mikihara-san!


Megumi: Y, yes? Wh, what is it?
Goon: Today's your birthday, isn't it? I bought you a present.
Megumi: ...... Thank you! May I open it?
Goon: Yeah, go ahead. what do you think?
Megumi: This is cute... I'll treasure it.
Goon: (She seemed happy enough. Not bad, I guess.)

9/6: Praised by Shiori for a perfect week
9/7 (Sunday): Call Shiori.

There's one seasonal event left to see for Shiori, and it's at the local park in fall. So...


Goon: Want to go to the local park with me on 9/21?
Shiori: Let me check... I'm sorry, I'm busy that day. I wish I could go, but...
Goon: D, don't worry about it. I don't mind.
Shiori: We'll try and make it work next time, okay?

You know what? We're so far ahead at this point that there's no reason to reload here.

9/8-9/13: Sleep
9/13: Say no to Yuina
Yuina threat level: Green
9/14: Call Shiori again

Goon: Want to go to the local park with me on 9/28?

Shiori: Let me check... yes, that's fine.
Goon: Alright, let's meet in front of the park on that day.
Shiori: Yes, let's. Don't forget, okay?
Goon: No way will I forget. Okay, talk to you later.
(click)
Goon: Yes! I can't wait for the 28th.

9/17: Bump into Miharu again

(thud)

Goon: Ow.
Mysterious Girl: Oh, I'm sorry!
Goon: Wait, didn't you bump into me before too?
Mysterious Girl: Is, is that so? I forgot all about it. Bye...
Goon: It really is her...

Suck it, Miharu, because our encounter with you was so late in the Shiori run, it won't override all of our progress. We'll see the beginnings of the Miharu route, though - and by "Miharu route" I mean "She leaves a bunch of mesasges on the machine because she is a stalker".

9/18: Walk home with Shiori

This is actually kind of a dangerous prospect because of Yumi's bomb, but oh well. Live on the edge!
9/21 (Sunday): Sleep
9/22: Concert Band
9/22: Say no to Megumi
Megumi threat level: Green
9/23 (Holiday): Concert Band
9/24-9/27: Concert Band
9/28: Event with Shiori! Just... not the event I expected


(usual pleasantries)


(thud)
Punk: Yo, you've got some nerve walking into me like that without saying a damn thing. Hope you're ready to get your ass kicked!


Refer to Chapter 9 for more information about the combat system in this game. I forgot about something important here - the first date after the third summer camp, no matter where it is, has a boss fight in it. Why? To show off the Ultimate Techniques, of course!

So now there's a Limit Break/Hidden Technique button. What does it do, you ask?


I don't remember the The Pied Piper of Hamelin leading a bunch of koalas, but... okay. The ludicrous amounts of damage from this attack made the punks retreat pretty much immediately.


Punks: Hmph. Not bad! We'll have to tell the boss about this!
Game: Victory!
Game: Gained 2360 XP
Game: Gained 3600 gold
Game: Found the Mithril Uniform Jacket
Game: Found the T-Shirt of Flame

But wait, there's more!


???: Stop right there!
Goon: Who are you?!


Banchou: I am the boss of this world!
Banchou: It seems like my underlings owe you a bit of a debt...
Banchou: But this farce ends now!
Banchou: Allow me to thank you.
Banchou: Take this!

Translator's note: A "banchou" is an old-fashioned kind of leader of a gang of delinquents. The student cap and popped collar on a customized gakuran are part of the stereotypical look, most iconically sported by Jojo's Bizarre Adventure's Jotaro Kujo. You can also see a few different variations on the theme in the Rival Schools series, which has tons of delinquent archetypes represented.


Banchou: Super Insight!
Banchou: Hmph. Now you realize...
Banchou: This is the fate that awaits all who oppose me.
Banchou: Hahahahahaha!

Well, that was weird. And it gets weirder... well, unless you remember the ending of Final Fantasy IV.


Game: (You hear a voice coming from nowhere...)
Angel's voice: Please, get up! There's still something you have to do!
Angel's voice: Yes, you can do it!


Angel's voice: I will give you new strength!
Angel's voice: Protect her!
Banchou: WHAT?!
Goon: I've seen through your Super Insight!
Goon: Banchou! I can't lose to you!
Banchou: You little brat...
Banchou: You shouldn't get carried away just because you've seen through my Super Insight.
Banchou: I'll show you my true power!
Banchou: Let's begin!


Okay, so it's not QUITE the same background as the Zeromus fight, but I still find it hilarious. Also, we should've brought Yuina. Oh well, next time! Banchou mainly attacks with:


Sleeve Dragon

Deal enough damage, and Banchou will admit that you're not bad, leading to this exchange:

Banchou: By my soul as a man...
Banchou: I can't lose to you!

The boss gains a new attack at this point, too - it doesn't have a name, though.



But even the Last Boss can't stand up against Goon, leading to:


Banchou: Hmph. I am amazed.
Banchou: There is someone in this world who can defeat me...
Goon: Banchou...
Banchou: No.
Banchou: I am no longer worthy of that name.
Banchou: From now on, you are the Banchou.
Former Banchou: Farewell! Take care of that girl!


Game: Victory!
Game: Earned 32767 XP
Game: Earned 65535 gold
Game: Found the Dragon Gakuran
Game: Earned the title "World Banchou"

Perfect. Goon is the smartest, and now is the strongest!

9/29-10/4: Concert Band
9/30: Ayako's birthday

Best option: Home karaoke set
Good option: Edvard Munch's The Scream in puppet form
Bad option: Camo fatigues

At this point it's close enough to the end that it's okay to give Ayako the best option.


Goon: Hey, Katagiri-san!
Ayako: Hmm? Did you want to talk to me?
Goon: Today's your birthday, isn't it? I got you a present.
Ayako: For me? Ureshii, I'm glad... may I open it?
Goon: Of course. Do you like it?
Ayako: Subarashii wa, wonderful! I didn't think I'd get something like this.
Goon: (She looks so happy. I'm glad I got her that gift.)

10/2: Date invitation from Megumi; say no.
Megumi threat level: Yellow
10/3: Say no to Ayako
Ayako threat level: Green
10/4: Praised by Shiori for a perfect week
10/5 (Sunday): Call Shiori again

Goon: Want to go to the local park with me on 10/10?
Shiori: Let me check... yes, that's fine.
Goon: Alright, let's meet in front of the park on that day.
Shiori: Yes, let's. Don't forget, okay?
Goon: No way will I forget. Okay, talk to you later.
(click)
Goon: Yes! I can't wait for the 10th.

10/5: Event!


Goon: Hmm? There's a message on the answering machine. I wonder what it is?
Club president: Starting tomorrow, we're getting ready for the culture festival. You need to come help us at the club!
Goon: (I have to help prepare for our club's presentation.)
Goon: (Time to get ready for the culture festival with the rest of the club.)

10/6-10/9: (forced) Concert Band
10/6: Say no to Yuina
Yuina threat level: Yellow

10/10 (Holiday): Date with Shiori

Goon: (Today's my date with Shiori. I should go meet up with her in front of the park.)


(usual pleasantries)
Shiori: It's nice to be able to talk in a place like this.
Shiori: Hey, do you remember?
Goon: Remember what?
Shiori: I just thought of it myself... it should be right over here.
Goon: Hey Shiori, where are you going?
Shiori: There it is!
Goon: What are you talking about?


Shiori: Do you remember this? About ten years ago, we marked how tall we were right here.
Goon: D, did we?
Shiori: We did. You weren't much taller than me back then.
Goon: But now I'm taller than you.


Shiori: Back then, we always played together. When did we stop...?
Goon: What?
Shiori: When did we stop playing together?
Goon: Together, eh... I wonder when...
Shiori: It's not too late now. We can go back to being like that...
Goon: Eh?
Shiori: N, never mind. I didn't mean anything by that.
Shiori: Let's head home.
Goon: Y, yeah.

(usual pleasantries)

10/11: Culture Festival


Goon: Today's the culture festival.
Goon: The Concert Band is going to be playing classical music in the gym. I should hurry up and get ready.


Shiori: We can finally perform classical music.
Goon: Up until now, we had some pretty weird perfomances.
Shiori: I practiced harder than usual for this one.
Goon: Since this is our last performance, let's make it one we don't regret.
Shiori: Yeah. We have to show everyone how hard we worked.
Goon: It'll be our time on stage soon. We should get ready.
Shiori: Let's both do our best.


This year, the performance is the Flight of the Valkyries.


Shiori: It looked like everyone in the audience was happy.
Goon: Good, I'm glad all of our hard work paid off.
Shiori: Our last performance brought things to a wonderful close.
Goon: Yeah, I agree.
Goon: (That's how the culture festival ended.)

10/12 (Sunday): Call Ayako


Goon: Want to go to the museum with me on 10/19?
Ayako: Gimme a second... ii wa yo. Okay.
Goon: Then let's meet in front of the museum on that day.
Ayako: Wakatta wa, oh I see. Okay, talk to you later.
(click)
Goon: Alright, I can't wait for the 19th!

10/13-10/18: Sleep
10/15: Walk home with Shiori
Honestly, I'm really surprised that Yumi's bomb didn't go off here. But hey, let's keep testing the limits!

10/16: Last chance warning for Yumi

Goon: (Man, I am exhausted today. I should hurry home.)
Goon: (Hey, that's Yumi-chan over there.)
Goon: Hey, Yumi-chan!


Yumi: ......
Goon: Huh? She ran off.
Goon: (Maybe she got hurt while I wasn't paying attention...)

10/19 (Sunday): Date with Ayako

Goon: (Today's my date with Katagiri-san. I should go meet up with her in front of the museum.)


(usual pleasantries)


Ayako: Subarashii. I'm a huge fan of this man's paintings.
Goon: Y, yeah? I'm glad we came then.
Ayako: Here, look at this one. Isn't it great? It's just mesmerizing.
Goon: Yeah.
Ayako: It'd be nice if I could paint something this good...
.
.
.
Goon: (She really does like this a lot... she's been looking at it for two hours.)
Ayako: Alright, I've memorized everything. Let's head home.
Goon: What do you mean, memorized?
Ayako: Before I forget, I need to head home and paint.
Goon: ......


(usual pleasantries)

10/20-10/25: Concert Band
10/22: Say no to Ayako
Ayako threat level: Green
10/23: Say no to Shiori
Shiori threat level: Green

Saying yes to either of these is liable to make Yumi's bomb explode.

10/26 (Sunday): Call Yumi

Goon: Want to go to the stadium with me on 11/2?
Yumi: Yeah, that's fine.
Goon: Then let's meet in front of the stadium on that day.
Yumi: Got it. Cross your heart, hope to die, stick a needle in your eye!
Goon: Hahaha... cross my heart. Say hi to Yoshio for me!
(click)
Goon: Alright, I can't wait for the 2nd!

10/27-11/1: Concert Band
10/30: Say no to Ayako
Ayako threat level: Green
11/1: Praised by Shiori for a perfect week
11/2: Read Memorial Spot, then date with Yumi


Memorial Spot December-January-February
This magazine will be going on hiatus after this issue.
Movie: Voyage of Love and Youth (romance) (Did you know that the Japanese name for An Officer and a Gentleman is "The Voyage of Love and Youth"? I didn't either!)
Concert: Rinse (rock) (Shampoo)[/i]
Stadium: December - Nothing
January - Pro Wrestling
February - Nothing
Event: The sensory experience ride, Virtual Ship, has been finished at the amusement park!

Translator's note: the Virtual Ship is basically Star Tours.

Goon: (This is the last issue of this magazine...)

Goon: (Today's my date with Yumi. I should go meet up with her in front of the stadium.)


(usual pleasantries)
Yumi: Pro Wrestling! Woo! Woo!


Yumi: Wow, they're really going at it.
Goon: Yumi-chan, you really do love wrestling, don't you?
Yumi: Yeah, Yumi reeeeeeeally loves it! Yumi and Onii-chan watch it together a lot.
Goon: Yoshio watches too? I didn't know...
Yumi: Oh, the main event is starting! Yumi really wanted to see this match.
Goon: Oh yeah? Then I'm glad we came.


Yumi: Right there! Go get 'im!
Goon: Um...
Yumi: There it is! The DDT!
Goon: Um, Yumi-chan? The people in the seats in front of us can see your underwear...
Yumi: And the fall! But a quick reversal!
Goon: (It's pointless, she's not listening at all. I just have to leave her alone...)


Goon: (Did she finally realize it?)
Yumi: Hey, did you see that move just now?
Goon: Hmm? Yeah, what about it?
Yumi: The other day, Yumi tried that move on Onii-chan, and he couldn't move for a while.
Goon: Is, is that so...
Goon: (That Yoshio was brought up in a pretty rough family...)
Yumi: And on top of that, Yumi has been trying out new techniques on Onii-chan too. When it's finished, Yumi will show you!
Goon: Th, thanks...
Goon: (I feel so sorry for Yoshio.)
Yumi: Wow, awesome! He pulled off a power bomb!
Goon: (She's going nuts again, there's no way I can talk to her)


(usual pleasantries)

11/3 (holiday): Preen
11/4-11/8: Concert Band
11/8: Invited out by Megumi

REE REE REE REE REE REE

Megumi: Um... can... I ask you something?
Goon: Mikihara-san, what's up?
Megumi: Are... are you free this Sunday?

With Yumi out of the way for a few months, Megumi is the biggest threat left in the game. This is a perfect opportunity.

Goon: Option 1: I'm free, what's up?
Megumi: Um... I have some tickets to the amusement park... Did you want to go together?
Goon: Option 1: That's fine, let's go.
Megumi: I'm so glad... I thought you'd say no.
Goon: Should we meet in front of the amusement park?
Megumi: Y, yes... That's great. See you later...
Goon: (This Sunday? I have to make sure I don't forget.)

The good thing is, that's tomorrow.

11/9 (Sunday): Date with Megumi

Goon: (Today's my date with Mikihara-san. I should go meet up with her in front of the amusement park.)


(usual pleasantries)

Megumi: Um... where should we head?
Goon: Option 2: Let's go to the haunted house


Megumi: I like this place... it's really exciting.


Megumi: Um... that was fun, wasn't it?

Option 1: Yeah. It was fun.
Option 2: You really like scary stuff, don't you?
Option 3: It's just for kids.

Option 2 seems like a good-but-not-too-good choice here. But honestly, it doesn't matter much anymore - she shouldn't be able to overtake Shiori anymore.

Megumi: Yes, as long as it's like this...
Goon: (Looks like I made a pretty good impression.)


Megumi: Um, thank you for today.
Goon: Next time, can I invite you somewhere?
Megumi: Y, yes, that's fine.
Goon: Then I'll call you soon.

This part of the conversation changed because Megumi invited us out; the rest of the usual "let's go home" pleasantries is the same as always.

11/10-11/15: :science:
11/16 (Sunday): Sleep
11/17-11/22: Concert Band
11/21: Invited out by Ayako; say no
Ayako threat level: Yellow
11/23 (Sunday): Preen
11/24 (Holiday): Concert Band
11/25-11/29: Sleep
11/28: Say no to Shiori
Shiori threat level: Green
11/30 (Sunday): Exercise

It's a very uneventful November, and that suits us just fine. We want things to be as unexciting as possible through February. Coming up: the road to Utter Perfection ends.