"Yep, these are our guildies": chat transcripts

[Texaporte]

These are the kind of conversations I will strike up with people at 2 AM, after reading (or whatever) for hours. As I have more of these transcript-worthy conversations (like me and Cliff talking about T12), I'll put 'em here!

Highlights: Irresistible poisonous Hildurberries, tweeny fantasies, and the song Anju will hear if she dies in my arms.

me: Alright, I'm 5/9ths of the way through the [Hunger Games] trilogy now
I hope you're happy!
So barbaric! :O
Now I know how you became such a horrible person and a Hildurninja
anju: By reading Hunger Games?
me: By reading these awful, awful books that warped your impressionable young mind!
anju: News! I was this way before the books!
me: But it's okay, I have learned to forgive you
I will also kill you by leaving out cheese and poisonous Hildurberries
anju: Just admit you aren't able to put it down.
me: Hildurberries, Anju
They don't exist yet but they will by October
anju: They're like nightlock?
me: And they will be your doom, and in your doom you will know who did it to you :O
but you will not be able to resist them, for they are hildurberries
anju: I'll just stay away from berries for the rest of the year.
me: They will call to you like the sirens of old
promising you wealth, knowledge, power, and a museum full of animal penises
anju: Museum full of animal penises...
I actually probably can't pass that up...
me: and volcanos, and Bjork
anju: Those I can do without!
me: you'll be unable to resist
hold on one second
before we continue this conversation, I have to know
are you one of those people who has to define yourself with Team Gale or Team Peeta or something?
anju: Hell no.
I'll take both.
me: Just checking. You're the kind of young impressionable girl who might make t-shirts and pillowcases and creepy shower curtains (yes there are Twilight shower curtains)
anju: No way!
I'm an old woman.
But who are you rooting for?!
me: That would make it even creepier!
I'm rooting for Haymitch, because he has the most character out of all of them
Peeta and Gale are pretty thinly sketched for my tastes
Gale barely shows up and is obviously representative of the "wild child" that tweeny girls wet themselves over
I bet that in the movies, when he gets angry
he's gonna run outside and strip to his never-nude denim shorts
anju: LOL
me: and run into the woods
I don't think he'll turn into a wolf, though, that's just silly
but at least Peeta's not emo
though now I'm just imagining him ripping off his shirt and whispering "This is the skin of a killer"
anju: I actually really like Finnick.
me: I've barely met him at this point so far!
anju: Want a sugar cube?
me: He's basically "that naked guy"
anju: haha
You'll see much more of him in the quell!
me: How? Will he waggle his penis around instead of wearing rope?
That's the only way I can possibly see more of him!
anju: Omg, stop it! I'm laughing too loudly now.
Promise me something though.
If I ever get speared in front of you, promise you will sing me to my death and surround me in flowers.
me: I hope that you're okay with your dying song being Baby Got Back or Gaston
anju: slkf jweoif jewoi

[Anjubee]

<--- victim

edit: victim --->

[Ishildur]

Hey, c'mon... Hildurberries are totally not poisonous. They're nutritious, delicious and very good for your health. Also, you realize they're making movies of the books right? So yes, with a bit of luck you will get to see more of Finnick... although I don't think the movies are being made by HBO so probably no penis (everything should be made by HBO to avoid such disappointments).

[Devinoch]

You heard it here first, folks. Hildur wants HBO to rule everything to prevent "no penis" disappointments.

[Anjubee]

Dom: I applied to FX!
Anju: Oooh, I think you'll be the first!
Dom: I think you'll like my qualifications
Anju: Can I make you leader?!
Dom: Have you read my application yet? I want to make sure you've read it first
Anju: Hm.. It didn't say anything.
Dom: boo
Dom: I filled it with things like ANJU IF YOU DON'T LET ME IN I WILL MURDER YO
Dom: KILLLLLL YOOOOOU
Anju: LOL
Anju: Ohh, I found it!
Anju: ahahaha
Dom:
Dom: so in response to your previous question
Dom: I WILL SQUEEZE YOUR HEAD LIKE A GRAPE
Anju: I guess that depends on how you squeeze your grapes.
Dom: I squeeze the lifeblood out of them
Dom: and slurp up their delicious grape brains
Anju: You must be gentle with grapes!
Anju: You must peel their skin slowly and th.. ok, it just won't sound right if I finish my sentence, so I'll stop.
Dom: :3
Anju: That's just how i eat my grapes.
Dom: Tell me about how you eat peaches too, Anju
Dom: especially when Hildur is around
Anju: lol
Anju: It's actually quite similar to how I eat grapes!
Dom: Of course it is :leer:

Conversation continues with Hildur.. who has been having keyboard issues.

Ishildur: I want ou ot to know, I'm not open for ein squeezed like a rape
Ishildur: Man, wit tis keoard not writin certain kes I sould avoid te fruit tat is used to make wine
Ishildur: tere could e some ... interestin conversations if I tr to discuss eatin delicious rape

anjubee: rofl
anjubee: It's extra funny since your g isn't working.
Ishildur: w did I write tat? Tat's so ettin pasted to te forums isn't it?
Ishildur: Exactl!!
Ishildur: owever, woever desined tese wesites reall needs to ave some rapes.
Ishildur: I'm just sain, te lack of confirmations, inailit to use arrowkes to edit words... some delicious rapes are called for ere.

[Ishildur]

Damn it! Tis keoard malfunction is not for ou people's amusement! Te eatin of rapes is serious usiness! First ou ave to entl scoop out teir innnards, ten ou peel te delicate rape skin, lickin it entl to see if te rape is fres. After tat ou ma eat te rape in watever fasion ou deem fit - I like to sometimes puttin 2-4 in m mout at once and masticate on tem furiousl.

I dunno if I want people to understand wat I wrote or not, sadl I tink it's not muc etter wit te missin letters.

[Texaporte]

I love your keyboard and hope that it gets its own bust in the hall of fame some day.

[Devinoch]

Te eatin of rapes is serious usiness!

Need any more really be said here?

(By the way, I'm very tempted to make this my forum signature...)

~c.

[Winterborn]

Below is a conversation that Hildur and I had over Steam a while back. I think it broke the "spelling finder..." Makes me laugh just reading it over.

Ishildur: hey, quick question. te win7 ultimate key, is it an uprade ke or does it not matter ohw I install? (her Xmas present was a Win 7 key from my technet subscription, if you were curious)
eticket71: Always do a clean install. Always. Having said that. I really doubt it matters
Ishildur: was gonna, now tat I ave m ideal ssd
Ishildur: also, damn tis keoard!!
eticket71: HAHAHAH
eticket71: was about to ask if you have been drinking!
Ishildur: te ke tat resemles a v wit a tail and te ke elow it, and te ke elow tat one ave all roken prett adl
Ishildur: ....
Ishildur: DAMN IT!!
eticket71: hahahah
Ishildur: ou know wat it's like trin to trow renades in ames wit a roken ke for tat function?!
Ishildur: frustratin!!!
eticket71: HHHAAAHAAHAHAHAHAH
Ishildur: tis is ecause I made fun of our car isn't it?
Ishildur: tis is paack
Ishildur: I ordered a new keoard - just ecause I ad to order from te US it takes loner
Ishildur: man, I'm onna e sooo muc on voice cat until tis keoard ets ere.
eticket71: I'm gonna have to copy this conversation... God its hilarious
Ishildur: ou astard! cris was te same wa. i ate ou ot sooo muc!
eticket71: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA
eticket71: Keep talking!
Ishildur: ou're mean! and I sound like some sort of demented frencman
eticket71: Yes... Yes I am mean and You are EXACTLY right! I'm crying here god its f'n hilarious
eticket71: Donna is yelling at me to "knock it off. my laughter is bothering her"
Ishildur: te worst part is I ave seen ou, I can picture exactl wat ou look like doin tis, and sound like!!
eticket71: Yes... exactly that!
eticket71: hahah, stop! Stop! my cheecks owww.
eticket71: My sides are hurting!
eticket71: hahahahaah
Ishildur: I will find some wa to make ou pa. mae not now, ut one da I assure ou ou will et wats comin to ou!
Ishildur: tis I, te roken frencman swear!
eticket71: I cant decide if its a pissed frenchman or pissed off asian guy, or a drunk Icelander!
Ishildur: man, if I were drunk dealin wit tis keoard would e wa easier
eticket71: are you sure you havent been drinking?
Ishildur: es. ut if tis keoard doesn't et ere soon i ma start quite eavil
eticket71: i'm waiting with baited breath for the strange/sillly response...
Ishildur: it used to just cut out a little it, ut ten now te kes just won't work 99% of te time
Ishildur: I looked at te exact keoard I was oin to replace tis one wit in te US and tout 'naw, te sell tese ack ome, and te're too i to fit in a suitcase well'
Ishildur: I sould ave bought it, turns out thhe ones tey sell here are different, theh enter key is all wrong and half the keys hahve, not even icelandic letters ut some weird co-nordic thhings
Ishildur: oh, yeah thanks h key for suddenly working NOW
eticket71: HAHAHAH!
eticket71: ok, afk again

[Dryce]

Lol @ suddenly the b, g, h, and y keys working again in the last two lines from Hildur.